Superman is a Tool, Wonder Woman can do better.

There I said it. He is my least favorite super hero. I know 2 men who count Superman as the best hero of all time. I must disagree.

For those of you not in the know, Superman has now hooked up with Wonder Woman and I went on record as saying, “She can do better.”

She can and should.

Here is the deal with wonder Woman. She was created by W.M. Marston based on Greek Mythology of the Amazons. Wonder Woman is a warrior princess of the Amazon, distinctly feminist role model whose mission was to bring the Amazon ideals of love, peace, and sexual equality to a world torn by the hatred of men. All very cool attributes and she was smokin’ hot in a stupid very unfemininest super-suit. Edna would not approve. She was drawn to attract men, the majority of Superhero fans.

So given those qualities, why is she choosing Superman as her love interest? Lest put the need for D.C. Comics to compete with Marvel aside for a moment.

Superman was a alien baby adopted by American Farmers with a wholesome upbringing. So far so good. Because he was not from around here, he experienced super strength. Also cool. I liken it to Neil Armstrong jumping super high on the moon. The gravitational pull was less on the moon than earth, there for Neil was superman on the moon. Earth does not have a ready supply of kryptonite at it’s disposal. That was Superman’s regular gravity. When exposed he became weak – not even “normal human strength” which was weird and tells me all Kryptopnite men are wusses. They can’t even hold their own heads up? How unattractive. At any rate, this made Superman the MAN here on Earth and more importantly, in Metropolis the Big Peach.

Now, Superman was in love with Lois Lane. She might as well been called Plain Jane. She was smart, top of her field, cunning and crafty. She was a woman who knew what she wanted, set goals and was supportive of Superman. All the things any boy’s mom hopes her son will find. Superman agrees and asks Lois to marry him and she accepts.

He says thaat to her and she says yes????

Superman was never happy with being with a woman who was smart, funny a perfect match for him. She wasn’t stunningly beautiful but he said to her, it’s what inside that counts. Really Superman? You fed her a line and she bought it. She was pretty enough but not quite what Superman was looking for. Sure she went a little Batshit crazy – who wouldn’t? The circumstances were difficult. But underneath it all she was who she said she was and loved him unconditionally. Likely the greatest love he will ever know. Soon Superman became bored with Lois. She challenged him too much, she supported his choices and loved him unconditionally. She lacked the hotness factor. Superman was looking into his past and started to rekindle a love lost. 

Enter Lana Lang, childhood Vixen. Okay, she was sweet and slightly more vivacious than Lois. But she wasn’t as smart, or as devoted. Superman dumps Lois and has an emotional affair with Lana. Lois blames herself, Superman blames Lois, fans think Superman should have never married Lois in the first place.

Not sure what happens next but I woke up this morning to find out Superman was snogging Wonder Woman and all I can think is NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO don’t doooooooo it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He can’t be trusted. Sure his outward persona is all upstanding and honorable, but the man inside is a lying cheat listening to his manparts sans the brain. Seriously! What the hell is she thinking? Sure he is successful – always wins. He works hard, there is no doubt about it. The guy has two jobs and one is physically demanding! If her job is to bring love, peace and sexual equality to the world, why pick a misogynist like Superman? Everyone knows you cannot change your man!

I get the attraction, I get the feelings and emotions, I get wanting to be needed. But a person can only take so much rejection. Wonder Woman would be better off with Batman or Ironman. They are smart, successful men WITHOUT the superhero persona. AND if things go south – and it will, Superman will dump her for not being somethingenough – she at least will get a decent settlement so she doesn’t have to take a shit job to feed her babies. Superman is a journalist. We all know the piece work pay is crap for writers.

See? Superman is a tool. But for the love of smart women everywhere Wonder Woman, start making smart choices!

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About The Edmonton Tourist

One day I woke up and was decidedly unhappy about the way my life was heading. I decided I needed a change. When I travel I often take new risks, be flexible and am generally adventurous. So, I decided that I need to start being a Tourist in my Own life and not just on vacation. I am many things but the new role for me is Tourist.

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