I am scared, so the dream must be big enough

Checking out my countdown clock I am told I have 2 days to go until the Calgary Jugo Juice 10km race.

I feel sick.

Why you ask? Good question.

I can run 10km, I have done it before and quite recently in fact…last Sunday, the Sunday before, the Sunday before that…

But nerves are attracting the butterflies and the butterflies are scared off because my belly is filled with bats.

Can I do it? Absolutely.

So what is the problem?

Well…

I am afraid I will not push myself. If I go at a relaxed pace that will have me finish the 10k like I do on my LSD days, I will reach a time of 1:55:00 for 10km. For those of you who don’t run, that is super slow-mo speed. Most people will finish the race at about an hour to an hour and a half. If I push myself to my limit, I will finish in 1:40:00. I dream of finishing in 1:30:00. My body isn’t ready for that. I think I could push it but I’d be puking and Jeff Galloway frowns on puking during a race, that means I am over exerting.

There is nothing wrong with pushing yourself to the limits of what you can do. I know for a fact that my body can do more than I anticipate it will, but by how much? There is the question that no one ever gets to know the answer to. We can always do more than we think we can.

My support team is all happy and sunshiney, saying things like “It doesn’t matter if you come in last” – well, I fully expect to come in last…I just don’t want too. They say things like, “The medal is the same for first and last place finishers” I know, that is why I am doing it. My medal will be made of sweat and tenacity. THey say things like “You’ll do fine.” Sure I will, I have trained for this, my muscles know what to do – it’s the brain that scares me.

A whole bunch of ‘What if’s’ are rolling through my head.

1. What if I can’t find parking?
2. What if I injure myself and get pulled?
3. What if I feel crappy race morning and can’t pull myself together?
4. What if I run out of fuel/water/water and water?

That is the problem with race day. You plan and train for the best, but nothing ever happens as planned. You hope for a personal best but race day is like the Mickey Mouse Club equivalent to ‘Anything Can Happen Day!’  I can mull over all possible scenarios but the reality is I am nervous. My first running race…with my Dad…on his birthday…in a City that isn’t mine…on a course I don’t know…filled with Calgarians who taunt Edmontonians…

My coach says “If your dreams aren’t scary they aren’t big enough”. I didn’t think 10km was big enough. I am scared. It is big enough. I need this to take me to the next level. To calm my nerves I think I will go for a run in the rain – at race pace. I need to remind myself I am ready.

 

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

 

In addition to running the 10k in Calgary with my Dad, my other goal is to raise money for the Dream Team Make-A-Wish Project. I chose to run for the Dream Team project for several reasons, the team, the support, the coaching but the most important reason is to raise money for the Make-A-Wish Project. I have family and friends who have benefited from this amazing charity and it is time to give back. Our Team slogan is Because you can’t smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside. 

Please consider donating on my behalf, Robyn Engel Couture here DONATE. You enter any amount from $1 – infinity and beyond. 

I thank you, my team thanks you and some little kid who’s wish came true thanks you.

For more information about the Dream Team Project, please visit here.

I am what I need, but I need to apply what I am and other theories that are true

I have a theory about professions people choose.

I think people go into the career field of their choice because it is what they actually need in their life.

For example: I think Social Workers need a Social Worker, Psychologists need a Psychologist, Teachers need Teachers and Accountants need Accountants.

I am a Planner with mad organization skills. I need a personal planner with mad organizational skills in my own life.

I am busily writing a monologue for a motivational speaking engagement I have coming up. I wrote out my outline on a yellow notepad  you know the kind, they are all glued at the top, the have a left hand margin and Apple used them so frequently they added a yellow notepad to their Notes App.

I can’t find my outline.

Had I been smart like I am for my clients, I would have created a OneNote file for my outline. However, when it comes to me and my needs I tend to be lazy. Now I need to go through the piles of yellow notes that I never throw away and find the outline that I am looking for. I could rewrite a new outline but I know the original had some important points I wanted to bring up, and today they just are not coming to the front of my memory.

I know I am not the only one who does this. My friend works in a position where she needs to be on top of all the important details and provides them at a moments notice. However, when it comes to her life, she throws away the instruction book for her odometer for her bike so she won’t be able to figure out how to work it and needs someone to show her.

I think deep down, we all want to be rescued and taken care of so in our personal life we sabotage ourselves in hopes that someone will come to the rescue. My Dad does it, he can manage a classroom with ease and keep track of 30+ kids on a field trip to Europe and never lose anyone, yet he will lose his keys on a daily basis.

What is it about us that we will subconsciously do this to ourselves? I love to be rescued and taken care of. I tend to be the person who holds it all together, plans out the course of action for events and activities that are important to the people or coworkers in my life, and yet when it comes to stuff I should be doing for myself – I will wing it because I have lost some major important piece that is crucial for completion of the project.

Is it that I just don’t care enough about me and my ‘stuff’ enough to take care of the details like I would for someone else? Or is it that I secretly want someone to care about me enough to look after the details for me. Show me that they care about me in the same way I care for them?

At any rate, perhaps I need to make a stronger effort to put myself first in situations where  I need to have my act together.

And whatdoyouknow?…I found my outline! I placed a sticky tab to the side so I could find it easily. Good for me, apparently I do care after all.

News Flash! I just saw a picture of the Ex’s Wife and I feel FABULOUS!

Have you ever creeped on Facebook to look up people from your past and are relieved that they haven’t adjusted their privacy settings so you can take a peek into their lives today? YOU HAVE SO…don’t lie.

I did it today.

I am very glad I did. Especially after Sunday’s incident.

I have struggled with body image issues forever and a day, largely in part to the men of my past. I know – what the hell was I thinking? Apparently I wasn’t.

The problem with memories, is they tend to be locked in time. So as I age – 45 and fabulous thank you very much – I become hyper aware of my skin, hair and body shape. When the ex and I split, a huge part of it had to do with my body image. It wasn’t his ideal and he let me know. I am one of those curvy girls, I will never be the anorexic super models. Today I learned that embracing who I am is as important as embracing what I look like.

I took a good look at the ex’s wife.

She looks like she could be any mom at the high school. She looks like she might be a friend of mine – maybe… I am fussy and only pick awesome friends.

She looks like she is smart – and neglects her appearance because she relies on her brains. Nothing wrong with that- I am a huge fan of brains. When I say she neglects her appearance, I just mean – she doesn’t focus on it. Nondescript dress, frizzy hair, no makeup, in other words plain.

I realized that I had been holding myself up to an imaginary standard. I pictured someone my ex would choose as tiny, petite drop dead gorgeous gal who had the perfect everything.

Then I saw her.

Lightbulb moment.

The guy is not George Clooney. He isn’t fabulously rich, brilliant or even empathetic. Why would he get a gal like that? Stacey Keibler she isn’t. But I bet she is right for him or what he thinks he deserves.

So why did I think lesser of myself because I wasn’t a supermodel? Good question. Why do women do that?

I can tell you he did talk A LOT about my body. I do know weight disgusted him because of the off colour remarks he would make. So obviously his current girl is rail thin. But she doesn’t have the healthy fitness glow I have. Her arms aren’t toned and I bet she can’t run 10k. My skin has WAY LESS wrinkles because good skin care starts from birth. Thank you ladies of my life who taught me how to take good care of my skin. I should BE so lucky to look like my Grandmother when I am in my 80′s. Her skin is fabulous. I am headed down the right track.

Looking at her picture (the ex’s wife) I also can see the wrinkles she does have are not laugh lines. That is sad. I know from other people she is less than enthusiastic about things that don’t involve her so smiling is sparse and when she does smile, it never reaches her eyes.  That makes me sad for her.

Of course this is all speculation and judgement on my part. I am more than my physical image and she is too.

I just wish it didn’t take me so long to figure that out. It makes me want to punch her husband with some good sense.

Life is a sum of all parts. Not just beauty. That fades.

And apparently, some of us get better with age…like a great wine.

I hope she is happy because that is all that really matters.

 

Be Amazing

I follow  my kid’s school on twitter to get regular updates and happenings going on in and around the campus because here is a surprise, I don’t hear it from him until 35 seconds before I need to do something about it. Like bake for the theatre cast rehearsal.

The thing I like about those tweets is every morning they end with “Go out and be amazing today!”

I like that sentiment.

Last week was a hard week emotionally for me. I took the tragedy in Boston hard. I just found it profoundly sad that innocent people were hurt or killed and the bombers had a sucky social life and blamed Boston. I am not a vindictive person, perhaps it is my Canadian upbringing, but wow – that kid put the gun in his mouth on an apparent suicide attempt and karma still makes him face the consequences. I think about how his life might have been awesome last Monday had he did something different.

I am currently reading Life after Life by Kate Atkinson. The premise is the main character dies, the world goes dark and rewinds to the moment before her death with things changed slightly to prevent the death. It is an interesting concept. I think it will generate great discussion as to what moment could you change to slightly alter your life.

What would I do?

Well, I wouldn’t change anything I did last week. The events made me think about my life a little bit harder. I spent time with friends, I ran 33km, I had lots of mom time with my kids, I had a lovely dinner with the trusty steed, I made plans with dear friends, I spoke up when I felt hurt and did nice things to make others feel good. I was grateful, appreciative and thankful for my life events last week.

Weather was another story – But there was sunshine today! That always makes me smile.

So heading out into the new work week tomorrow, I am going to depart this little life changing tidbit:

Go out there and BE AMAZING this week!

 

Keep Running for Peace and Light Boston

The tragic events in Boston have deeply affected me. I understand many of you are not runners and yet it is shocking to you as well.

Here is the thing that bothers me most. Running is a peaceful non contact sport for individuals and FAMILIES.

The Boston Marathon is like the Superbowl, Stanley Cup Final, The World Series, The Masters of the marathon circuit. It is the race the distance runners dream of because you just can’t enter. You have to earn it.

Boston Marathon Qualifying Standards (effective for 2013 race)
Age	Men	Women
18–34	3hrs 5min	3 hrs 35min
35–39	3hrs 10min	3 hrs 40min
40–44	3hrs 15min	3 hrs 45min
45–49	3hrs 25min	3 hrs 55min
50–54	3hrs 30min	4 hrs 0min
55–59	3hrs 40min	4 hrs 10min
60–64	3hrs 55min	4 hrs 25min
65–69	4hrs 10min	4 hrs 40min
70–74	4hrs 25min	4 hrs 55min
75–79	4hrs 40min	5 hrs 10min
80+	4hrs 55min	5 hrs 25min

If you are 80 and older you have to run 26.2 miles or 42.195km in 4 hours and 55 minutes for men and 5 hours and 25 minutes for women.

Think about that. I am half that age and I hope to finish my first marathon in under 7 hours. Boston is a big deal. People my age are finishing that distance it what it takes me to finish HALF that distance. Sure I am slow, sure I am new to this sport but that speed is amazing.

So lets talk about how far 26.2 miles is. Let’s say you wish to start at the southeast corner of Edmonton by my neighborhood. I will come to the start line with you at 17st and Whitemud freeway. I will wish you luck, ring the cowbell, and begin worrying about you as you run west.

You will keep on the Whitemud until you get to the Anthony Henday and head north towards Hwy 16. Then head west because you are not finished yet, until you get to a new City called Spruce Grove. Don’t think you are done yet, do you? Because you are not. Run past Century road until you get to King Street. Just past King is where you can stop. This is only a half a kilometer away from Calihoo Road. Now RUN that in the corresponding time from your age group listed above.

The big question is, why do people do this? Well, it isn’t for prizes or cash or fame and fortune, it is to see what you are made of. It is as simple as that. When you train to be a distance runner, you train yourself to handle pain. We need to be clear, it hurts and it hurts regularly. Distance runners need mind control and focus. You need to be okay with being alone with your thoughts. You need to be proficient at clearing negative thoughts during your run or the wheels fall off pretty fast.

This is just what the runner goes through on race day. There are weeks and weeks of training, miles and miles put on those shoes. Those shoes wear out around 400 miles so have plenty on hand. The runner sits in ice baths after a run to reduce swelling, they eat while training to maintain energy, puke when they have pushed too far, lose toenails and fill their shoes with blood. None of these are pleasant side effects.

So why do it?

You sleep great. You breath deeper than you can possibly imagine. Your body craves running. You glow. You clear your head. You think of great things. You can plan and work out any problem. There is solidarity in running. The running community is something you have never experienced before. Someone falls, the next person along helps them finish even though it slows their own personal time. We work together to finish. We are a global team.

So why does the Boston tragedy hurt so much? Because runners and their families are a peaceful community. No one gets boos, everyone gets cheered for. The last person over the finish line is treated like a rockstar, just like the first person over the line. It isn’t a race for the win, it is a race to the finish.

Runners are a non political force. We share our space, our support and our water, protein and gels.

The question remains, WHY?

We all will speculate forever but it doesn’t change the fact that 23336 people crossed the start line. 17580 crossed the finish line. That means 5756 people didn’t finish. 5756 people didn’t complete their dream of finishing the Boston Marathon. 5756 people’s families were waiting to hear how it went, waited at the finished line, or just waited to hear a phone call that wouldn’t come.

I think about my team mates who were in Boston and who thankfully are fine. I think about how peaceful races are now forever changes. I think about my children waiting for me at the finish line and how little  Martin Richard age 8 was waiting for his dad to cross the finish line and his family will never be the same.

As a running community, I smiled when I heard the finishers ran to donate blood.

I am joining them.

If you are Canadian you go to Canadian Blood Services and fill out the info online and they will contact you. It’s simple, you save a life or 3 and you get a cookie. I’m donating blood because I am a runner and who knows, one of us may need it one day.

Peace Boston.

Vintage Things, like my Dad

Vintage is something that gets thrown around a lot and people have lost respect for the classic association for Vintage. I was talking with some friends and they were talking about the vintage quality of music from the ’90s. The 1890′s? No, the 1990′s. What? That isn’t vintage, that is last year. Vintage could be associated with vinyl albums, I’d allow that. But not CD’s that is ridiculous. You can still purchase CD’s in Wal-mart at the check out in the impulse purchase section, so that doesn’t count.

White Album  would be a Vintage Album

Vintage books mean books that pre-date 1960 and NOT A PAPER BACK.  Later then that are called “out of print” or “used books”. Still perfectly lovely but not Vintage.

Vintage fashion is designer based. Something classic that has staying power like Chanel or Givenchy. Your granny’s $1.49/yard fortrel pantsuit she made for church is not. That is called “second hand” or “Value Village find”. I love second hand shops. I often find silk for 25 cents, but it does not make it vintage.

I use to have a mother-in-law who thought of food as something that was vintage. Her pantry was a virtual museum of old brands and an odd assortment of canned goods that pre-dated World War II. In this case, yes this was Vintage packaging but she found it perfectly fine to serve Vintage food. I never indulged and was usually the one who never caught the ‘flu’ after eating at her house.

Vintage alcohol can be the answer to good time, but this also comes with some caveats. Wine and scotch yes, beer and coolers no. Make your own wine left in the plastic bathtub, no. Frozen beer then thawed beer, no (for the uninitiated, it goes skunky and flat. Not good ever) I have not had the pleasure of drinking a very old very expensive scotch, but I will one day and I can bet you it will be divine.

I am watching the Hockey game (yay hockey is back!) When I say watching the game, I only ever mean MY team. The Edmonton Oilers. (For the record The New York Rangers are my Eastern Team – I fondly refer to them as Oilers East). The Oil are playing Columbus (who?) and they are wearing their 3rd jersey. It is in the classic original 6 vintage style. It is a really nice looking jersey, but… That’s right I said it, BUT…

Columbus Bluejackets have not earned the right to wear a Vintage Style Jersey. I don’t even think the Oilers have earned that right. 3rd Jerseys should be Vintage only with teams who have Original 6 Designation. That means I would proudly wear New York Rangers Vintage jersey. Suck it Leafs and Habs.

My Dad is about to become Vintage this year. I am in the process of collecting 65 cool vintage things. Mostly they will be cool vintage toys, Bobby Orr or Gordie Howe vintage jersey (both original 6 – the proper vintage) hockey cards from his youth and Pez with no feet, but VINTAGE not yard sale old. I am hoping to find some of these things in a yard sale but that isn’t the qualifying concept that makes it Vintage.

Vintage is a word that has class, style and panache, my dad does not appreciate being called the ‘old man’, ancient or decrepit  He is a man who had live well and seen lots. The adjective that describes him should reflect that. So, I will call my father Daddy. Anyone with a 45 year old who still refers to her papa as Daddy, can’t be such a bad guy,  he isn’t all that old.

Secrets

In between my crazy busy life, I take time to read. I have challenged myself to read books and genres that frightened me before. I am not talking about horror type books, because those have never been on my radar, but books that touch on mental health issues. I always have been the sensitive type that could pick up on others emotions or feelings and assimilate them into my own consciousness. Trust me, I don’t recommend this technique for developing empathy, yet here was me being able to understand a too deep of a level.

I just finished reading Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult and Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn. Mental Health is at the root of these books trying to explain why people’s action result in unspeakable crimes. The sad part is, I can understand why these events occur. For me it is like sitting up high in the rafters of a hockey game. From that vantage point you can see the play develop in the back-end, speed through the center ice with skill and finish in the other end with finesse. It all makes sense, it unfolds in a seemingly logical way.

What these types of books have done for me – other than give me nightmares about serial killers, is have me walk around and just look at people. Wondering what their secret is and why it makes them behave in such away. Some people wear their secret on their arm as if they cut it into their flesh like Camille did in Sharp Objects, Rape, Slapped, Molested, Ignored, Unloved, Stolen, Bullied, Abused, Hated. Their secret becomes who they are and effects every facit of their life. Others simply ignore their secret and over compensate for things with, I am not my Father, If I love you enough you will love me back, This happened to me so you should have it happen to you because it’s fair.

One some level it is comforting to know that there is someone out there who understands on some level my secret or your secret. It becomes part of our need to belong or feel apart of a group. I sometimes sit in my secret place and think about my secret and how I could use it to change my life. Would it help? Would it damage? We all have some secret we either share or guard close to us. Perhaps it is why Frank Warren’s Blog PostSecret has had  586,318,599 visits in 7 years. He started an art project that invited people to anonymously send him a postcard with their secret on it. Millions of people did. I have read secrets that could have been mine, secrets that could have belonged to my love and secrets that could belong to you. We will never know who the belonged to because they are secrets, but it is nice to know we aren’t alone.

Here is a PostCard from Sunday’s PostSecret blog. I found this to be particularly sad and can think of someone in my life who might belong to this secret.

The flip side of this postcard read:

Love never dies they & I am living proof of that having been married for 50 years I am in love with someone else I can’t have. Love never dies!

Here is Frank Warren’s PostSecret Project

Related articles

• My PostSecret experience (sociopathicuttlefish.wordpress.com)
• Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn – A Discussion (Contains Spoilers) (meetmeatthebookparade.wordpress.com)

Question: what is your existential crisis right now ? Seriously – I’m good, nothing to look at here. Keep moving.

Existentialism in Calvin and Hobbes (Photo credit: Lst1984)

I had a message in my twitter feed last week that asked me this:

Question: what is your existential crisis right now ?

I looked at it and thought about it. I understood what it meant, Wikipedia explains it as this:

An existential crisis is a moment at which an individual questions the very foundations of his or her life: whether his or her life has any meaning, purpose or value.^[1] This issue of the meaning and purpose of existence is the topic of the philosophical school of existentialism.

I was immediately offended. Why would someone think that my life doesn’t have purpose. Or anyone’s life for that matter? We all have a purpose, good, bad or indifferent. It doesn’t have to be job related, it could be relational. The fact of the matter is it is personal. Not something that needs to be shared – unless of course THAT is the purpose!

My answer to this question was simple:

I don’t question it. I know my life has meaning and purpose.

Some-days it is more obvious to me than other days, but purpose is there and I don’t have to look very hard. I know this question was meant to be well meaning and a conversation started on a philosophical level, but dude, I no longer need to analyze everything to death. It’s okay not to know the answer to every question. The hard part is accepting that. That could be your current purpose.

Once it boils down, we are all the same

I woke up this morning to a barrage of email that kept me quite busy for the better part of an hour. One of those notes was from a long lost cousin of mine who lives south of me. A while back, I wrote about my Grand Uncle and his mother, my beloved Great Grandmother. Since that post, I have been fortunate enough to connect, or reconnect with countless family members from ‘that side’ of the family. Through many conversations and mini reunions, I have learned – or rather reaffirmed – We are all more similar than different.

My distant cousin wrote this:

I am finding myself astounded from many of your posts on your blog.  So many things you have written about, sound so similar to my interests and experiences.

She wrote many other things that compared our lives, but that is her personal journey, mine is written here. Yes we are similar, so you can surmise what she is like. Another distant cousin on Canada’s East Coast also seems very familiar to me. We had never met, but our interests and life experiences have that same raw familiarity of people who have been through war together. Our wars were separate, yet so familiar and a destruction of trust. Both of these women are people I want to spend time with, get to know what they are like in person and not just in print. I can see myself enjoying them as sisters or the very least friends.

When I first began my Edmonton Tourist Journey in 2010, it was because I was unhappy and felt alone. I set out to change things in my life and have new experiences. This quest has introduced to countless people, all who are so incredibly different than myself, yet we all have one thing in common. We are the same. I am not sure if it is where I am in my life that keeps attracting these people to me, or if it is because there is a global inner drive that requires people to keep searching for ‘it’, but I do know we are more the same than different. Maybe I am wrong and you aren’t the same as me, here is my list of 4 things I think we have in common:

1. We all want to be loved by someone – kissed, hugged or hair ruffled by someone who cares about you. You want to feel that connected energy. If you aren’t feeling it, perhaps you are not recognizing it. It doesn’t always come in the form of a ‘soulmate’ or great romantic love, it could be from your pup Sparky or your grandma. Still, we all need that feeling of belonging to someone.
2. We all want to feel good and by good I mean healthy  No want wants to walk around feeling like they are tired or sick all the time. The difference between those who want to feel it and those who do feel it is some of us have figured out the secret. It’s not a big secret, it is more of a knowing. Eat less, move more. Simple formula. Eat real food, not chemical filled. You are  natural, healthy and organic. That means your fuel of choice should be the same. Harder than it sounds, but yet so simple. Move your body. We are biped beings. Walk more, sit less. The more you do it, the better you will feel.
3. We want the best for the people we love. It doesn’t matter if you are a parent, sibling or child. If you love someone, you want the best for them. When you hear happy news, don’t be jealous or envious, smile and bask in their happiness. It becomes contagious.
4. We all want to understand. The biggest human nature driving force is ‘WHY’. ‘WHY’ is the reason we get up and experience or try things. ‘WHY’ is the reason we strive for more. Learn the answer to WHY to satisfy you curiosity. Read, experience, and listen to learn the answer to WHY. Try all 3 or the learning method that works for you.

Are we the same? I think so.

 

Suffragette’s, book club and wine

Last night as I prepared for my book club (putting on my boots and walking to my neighbour’s house) my daughter ChatterBox asked me the following question, “What do you do at Book Club?” I gave her my best sinister laugh and replied, “What happens at book club, stays at book club.”

English: British suffragette with a poster, giving out newspapers Русский: Британская суфражетка с плакатом, раздает газеты или листовки на улице. Позади остановился двухъярусный автобус. Снято до 1919 г. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I then received a history lesson from my 14 year old ChatterBox, “Did you know the Suffragette’s movement started with women gathering for a book club?” That’s my girl! Knowing important history that made her a Person under the Law here in Canada! I always drill into her the importance of Canada’s famous five, the women who stood their ground to change the face of history by getting women the vote. Of course this paved the path for many changes, I don’t want ChatterBox to get too comfortable in thinking this is the end. Human rights shouldn’t have to be fought for, they are a right for a reason.

I asked ChatterBox where she had learned this information. She replied, “I learned it in school.” Then she looked at me as if I was nuts. “Didn’t YOU learn about it in school?” I can honestly say, if I did, I have no recollection of it. I DO remember learning about it the knee of my great grandmother. She raised her 5 kids, her sister-in-law and looked after her mother single handedly while working full time as a teacher on the prairies of Saskatchewan. This was long before the days of equal pay – who are we kidding, there still isn’t equal pay in most positions. My Gram talk to me about the importance of education and how it can change the way people see the world.

I never got the message that educating women would change the world, Gram didn’t specify that. It was implied that boy AND girls should be equally educated. It was important for her to see her granddaughters go to university, her grandsons too…but a larger emphasis on the girls. What if… was likely poking around her mind What if the girls have to make it on their own as I had to.

It is implied that educated men will have great careers and do great things, while educated women become great role models for their children.

Why can women just be great? Men get to be great. I think we are nearing that precipice, but we still have to vigilant. I want both my children to experience the joy of higher education. It has literally transformed me into person who knows less and questions more. Before University I knew more but questioned less. I want this gift for my children.

So ChatterBox, that is what we talk about in Book club. We ask questions we give opinions and we come away knowing more or less than we did before. Either way it becomes food for thought and starts conversations. We do this to honor the traditions of the smart women who came before us and the smart women who come after….and there is wine. I forgot that part.