9/11

Today was one of the days that felt like a week. It made me tired in the back of my eyes. I told my team I was leaving the room to visit the bathroom and if anyone was going to offer me a job between my classroom and the ladies room, I was taking it.

No one did, so I guess I go back to the same routine tomorrow.

My drive home today I was listening to CBC radio – that’s right I have become THAT person, the old crotchety non-NDPer (non- New Democratic Party) who listens to CBC radio. Why? It’s calm and unusual. They played k.d. Lang and interviewed Laurie Greenwood from Greenwoods Books. I love hearing about new books I might want to read. Today she talked about The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry by Rachel Joyce. It is  Longlisted  for the Man Booker Prize. I want to read it.

It is about a fellow in England who retires and has nothing to do. He sits in his chair while his bitter wife does the chores and he wonders what is he going to do with the rest of his like. He gets a letter from an old friend he hasn’t seen or thought of in 20 years. The note says the this friends was dying from cancer and she wanted to say good bye. He writes a note and goes to the post office to mail it. He decides to go to the next post office instead. He ends up several post offices away and stops at a gas station for a cup of coffee. He meets a punk-rocker and tells her his story. She tells him the power of thought can heal. So Harold decides to send a postcard to his friend saying he is coming for a visit and just wait for him. Harold then begins to walk 600 miles across England, to meet his friend thinking this might heal them.

Sounds like an amazing journey. It made me think about other journeys and stories I have heard. I know several New Yorkers who have shared with me their story of 9/11 11 years ago. That made me think of the journey of the survivors and the victim’s loved ones. That made me think about the millions of people in New York. Then I thought about Harold Fry and his metaphoric journey.

I remember this day, 11 years ago very clearly. I was still in bed listening to the news when the unthinkable happened. A plane hit one of the towers. I got up and turned on CNN. I then watched the second plane hit the second tower. I couldn’t process what I was seeing. I went to work and my brother was listening to the news, eager to hear what was going on. Were we at war? What was going to happen?

I drove out past the airport to make deliveries for our business. These were the days of still working in the family owned business. I had stopped teaching for a while. I looked at the hundreds of airplanes that were parked at the airport. Flights had been re-routed from the States and brought to Canada. The passengers where sheltered and nurtured here in Canada while they worried frantically about their country, friends and family.

Eventually the world got back to business and airplanes went back into the sky. Travel became a hassle and people began to complain about the pain in the ass travel had become. Life went back to normal and people hated their jobs, their lives, their situation once again.

I remember thinking, I need to be more intentional about gratitude.

I also am on a journey. Mine is not the same as Harold, I am not walking 600 miles to see a dying friend. My journey is simply to understand why I am not satisfied with fine. I feel an inner pull leading somewhere and I have no idea where it is taking me. I don’t understand it, I am frustrated with it, yet I follow that pull as it leads me to destinations unknown. I think it is called faith. I have faith that I will figure it out at the end, since I haven’t figured it out yet, I can’t possibly be at the end. I have faith things will work out the way they are suppose to. In the mean time I feel the pull pushing me into finishing my degree, I feel the pull pushing outside to run, I feel the pull to be compassionate and understanding, and I feel the pull to help pick up the pieces and put them back together to support those who need the help.

I need to remember that this is my journey and excess body fluids may be part of it. I don’t have to like it, but I have to keep moving forward. Perhaps I will end  up walking 600 miles to meet my friend who needs me. But I am lucky, because I am here being needed, unlike the thousands of people who went to work that day 11 years ago and never went home to finish their journey.

I need to remember to be grateful.

Superman is a Tool, Wonder Woman can do better.

There I said it. He is my least favorite super hero. I know 2 men who count Superman as the best hero of all time. I must disagree.

For those of you not in the know, Superman has now hooked up with Wonder Woman and I went on record as saying, “She can do better.”

She can and should.

Here is the deal with wonder Woman. She was created by W.M. Marston based on Greek Mythology of the Amazons. Wonder Woman is a warrior princess of the Amazon, distinctly feminist role model whose mission was to bring the Amazon ideals of love, peace, and sexual equality to a world torn by the hatred of men. All very cool attributes and she was smokin’ hot in a stupid very unfemininest super-suit. Edna would not approve. She was drawn to attract men, the majority of Superhero fans.

So given those qualities, why is she choosing Superman as her love interest? Lest put the need for D.C. Comics to compete with Marvel aside for a moment.

Superman was a alien baby adopted by American Farmers with a wholesome upbringing. So far so good. Because he was not from around here, he experienced super strength. Also cool. I liken it to Neil Armstrong jumping super high on the moon. The gravitational pull was less on the moon than earth, there for Neil was superman on the moon. Earth does not have a ready supply of kryptonite at it’s disposal. That was Superman’s regular gravity. When exposed he became weak – not even “normal human strength” which was weird and tells me all Kryptopnite men are wusses. They can’t even hold their own heads up? How unattractive. At any rate, this made Superman the MAN here on Earth and more importantly, in Metropolis the Big Peach.

Now, Superman was in love with Lois Lane. She might as well been called Plain Jane. She was smart, top of her field, cunning and crafty. She was a woman who knew what she wanted, set goals and was supportive of Superman. All the things any boy’s mom hopes her son will find. Superman agrees and asks Lois to marry him and she accepts.

He says thaat to her and she says yes????

Superman was never happy with being with a woman who was smart, funny a perfect match for him. She wasn’t stunningly beautiful but he said to her, it’s what inside that counts. Really Superman? You fed her a line and she bought it. She was pretty enough but not quite what Superman was looking for. Sure she went a little Batshit crazy – who wouldn’t? The circumstances were difficult. But underneath it all she was who she said she was and loved him unconditionally. Likely the greatest love he will ever know. Soon Superman became bored with Lois. She challenged him too much, she supported his choices and loved him unconditionally. She lacked the hotness factor. Superman was looking into his past and started to rekindle a love lost. 

Enter Lana Lang, childhood Vixen. Okay, she was sweet and slightly more vivacious than Lois. But she wasn’t as smart, or as devoted. Superman dumps Lois and has an emotional affair with Lana. Lois blames herself, Superman blames Lois, fans think Superman should have never married Lois in the first place.

Not sure what happens next but I woke up this morning to find out Superman was snogging Wonder Woman and all I can think is NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO don’t doooooooo it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He can’t be trusted. Sure his outward persona is all upstanding and honorable, but the man inside is a lying cheat listening to his manparts sans the brain. Seriously! What the hell is she thinking? Sure he is successful - always wins. He works hard, there is no doubt about it. The guy has two jobs and one is physically demanding! If her job is to bring love, peace and sexual equality to the world, why pick a misogynist like Superman? Everyone knows you cannot change your man!

I get the attraction, I get the feelings and emotions, I get wanting to be needed. But a person can only take so much rejection. Wonder Woman would be better off with Batman or Ironman. They are smart, successful men WITHOUT the superhero persona. AND if things go south – and it will, Superman will dump her for not being somethingenough - she at least will get a decent settlement so she doesn’t have to take a shit job to feed her babies. Superman is a journalist. We all know the piece work pay is crap for writers.

See? Superman is a tool. But for the love of smart women everywhere Wonder Woman, start making smart choices!

Related articles

• Superman Dumps Lois Lane For Wonder Woman In ‘Justice League’ #12 (pinkisthenewblog.com)
• LOVE Blooms for SUPERMAN & WONDER WOMAN in JUSTICE LEAGUE (newsarama.com)
• Superman + Wonder Woman = (comicsalliance.com)

The Learn to Drive Milestone

 

A rite of passage happened yesterday. It was a very exciting moment for me.

My son drove a car for the first time.

This was a big deal. I remember being 16 and my dad took me out in his Blue Dodge Diplomat to the church parking lot. He put the car in park, opened the car door and stepped around to the passenger side. I couldn’t wait to get into the drivers seat! My dad is a teacher by trade profession and is one of the best. He explained in very clear detail, my step by step procedure.

When you put the car in drive, it will move forward, so keep your foot on the brake.

As you slowly release the brake, the car will move forward.

Stomping on the brake will cause me to vomit.

Take your time, we have all the time in the world – we don’t have to rush.

And thus began my first driving lesson 1983 – an era before seatbelts.

 

Last night after dinner, I said to my 16 year old. “are you busy? Can you come out with me for a bit?”

He looked at me suspiciously, assessed the situation and agreed. I drove out of the city and to a country school about 10 minutes from my home. I figured this would be a good spot with no pedestrian or motor traffic. He looked at me and said, “Either this is a driving lesson or you are about to murder me and dump my body.”

Me-”Correct, I have a baseball bat in the trunk and a carpet to roll you up in.”

He laughed and climbed out of the car, went around to the driver’s side and waited until i was in the passenger seat before he got in. The first thing he did was put on his seat belt and complain about how weird it felt crossing over the other side of his body. I asked how he felt, the reply was “Nervous and a bit scared.”

Me- “We won’t be going of 10km and there will be no reversing the car today. Just slow on the straight away and turns.”

I gave him the same instructions my dad gave me. Calm and quiet, full of confidence I never felt. I forgot to mention the part about stomping on the brake will induce vomiting. Sure enough, I was thankful for the seatbelt as he tested the brakes. He drove in circles for about a half hour. He tried stopping various times and got the hang of not smashing my face into glass. He actually was a quick study. He pulled up to the fence and I inquired as to how he planned on moving the car since I said no reversing. He said he could either get out and have me do it, or he give it a try himself. I gave him the step by step instructions for reversing, this included how you turn the wheel in the opposite direction of where you want to go. I then heard the Doc Hudson reference from him. The quote from the movie

I’ll put it simple: if you’re going hard enough left, you’ll find yourself turning right.

Ummmm nooooooooooooo. But secretly was happy he used a Pixar reference. When he didn’t shoulder check I made splat sounds and told him that was puppies and babies he ran over. He laughed and put the car back up against the fence and did it again. This time he shoulder checked. About 10 more minutes, and I directed him to park near the gate. We traded places and I asked him how he felt now. His reply was one of confidence. “I don’t feel scared anymore. Just nervous because there is so much to remember.”

I drove down the country road and into Sherwood Park. I found the Dairy Queen where we planned to celebrate. He asked if this was the one his Grandpa took me too. “Nope, that one is an insurance company now”. We had blizzards to celebrate. He told me he hated the licence plate cover on my car. It says “I’d rather by in Walt Disney World.” I told him I hated the Datsun B210 I had to drive when I was a kid.

You never get to drive the cool car when you are young because it is too expensive. Once you can afford it, you look like a ridiculous old dude trying to recapture his youth. He laughed and agreed that bald guys are hilarious in a convertible. I rest my case. I reminded him to look at the cars the high school kids drive – if they are lucky. He laughed and said, “you’re right, they are all beaters or mommy vehicles.”

Now my boy is motivated to get a job. Insurance is expensive, now that he has a glimpse of the freedom of the future.

 

My Fictional-Bucket List

Today bit. Not that I was surprised, but holy hell it hurt. The weird part was nothing negative happened. Just good stuff was said, yet the outcome was not one I had hoped for nor counted on. I fell for the 8th time and picked myself up for a 9th. I’m at a loss for direction at the moment, but there are some good things that came from this.

1. I didn’t eat my emotions.
2. I swam for 75 minutes instead.
3. I engaged my kids in conversation about books.

I know that last one doesn’t make sense. I am the master of my thoughts. I can choose to wallow in self-pity OR I can change my thought patterns and move forward. I had been reading a cool list on Pinterst called Fiction-Bucketlist.

I asked my kids what would be on their list. The only rule was it had to be book-fiction, not movies or TV. Genetic Offspring immediately said “Walk into Mordor and say ‘Whatsup Bitches?’”. That was awesome.
We discussed various possibilities and Chatterbox wanted to follow the White Rabbit.

As a kid I would have loved to be Mike Mulligan and dig the basement faster and straighter than 10 men or drink raspberry cordial with Anne and Diana. I would have loved to be as eloquent as Charlotte living in the barn doorway or go to Kenner boarding school and be roommates with Sheila. My kids wanted to send a howler, be a starcatcher or a demigod and defeat medusa and fight Aries and send him to tartarus, and of course, drink ambrosia. Best of all, they wanted to scam Huck and Tom to paint the fence. I created a monster because they played this game for hours. It was great to hear them discussing books.

When I read a particularly great book, I think about the characters for days afterwards. I get swept away in story line possibilities and fantasize about outcomes that star me. This is something I often did for as long as I can remember. I have imagination down to an art. Some people call it fan fiction, but I never wrote these stories down. I would just play them in my head before bed and dream happily about the events that were unfolding. This made me think of my favorite ideas for my own fiction  bucket list.

1. Visit Quinten’s to see who is sitting in the secret booth and have dinner with Ria and Colm.
2. Nurse Jesse back to health and have him rescue me from myself.
3. Go after Rhett until he gives a damn.
4. Run through the Fire Swamp with Wesley.
5. Paint London red with Aishling and Elizabeth.
6. Walk in the garden with Mr. Darcy and encourage him to steal a kiss.
7. Spend the day with Tony at Coney Island.
8. Go back through the stones to find Jamie.
9. Spend my summers on Martha’s Vineyard with Caitlin and Vix.
10. Live in New York and chum around with girlfriends while having fabulous careers and a Mr. Big who pops round every now and then.
11. Sweep Sirius off  his feet and save him from Bellatrix
12. Sitting on the bench in the park, thinking my life is in tatters when he sits down beside me, takes my hand a smiles.

 

Compliling this list made think about re-reading some of my favorites, like Tara Road, The Other Side of the Story or Brooklyn. It’s a perfect night to do that.

What is on your fictional bucket list?

 

The Edmonton Tourist Birthday Indulgences that are indulged in all year because once you hit 39 birthdays happen quicker and there is not enough time to get them all in List

My buddy Paul sang this for me today:

That’s right, shameless plug, I am having a birthday. Half of 90, so I guess it’s official – I have reached the middle-age plateau.

There are a few birthdays that stick out for me, only a few because as you get older the memory fades and everything blends together. I cannot for the life of me remember what I did on my 40th. But I remember my 21st like it was yesterday. I was a camp counsellor and was thrown off the pier by my pals. All the little campers made me pictures and the I received a special camp cake – it was gross but oh so special!

I remember my 16th birthday. I sat on the steps of the paramount theatre in a mini skirt to watch Risky Business, they over old seats so I sat on the sticky floor with my best friend. We went of for drinks – the alcohol kind and I had a Chi-Chi. My first underage public libation – good times.

I remember my 43rd very well. My kiddos brought me breakfast in bed that was cooked! When they were little they were not allowed to turn on the stove so they made “egg bread” soaking bread in raw egg – the preamble to french toast. My kids have always been so thoughtful.

Typically I have always been on vacation for my birthday. Not this year, I’m just back. I share this day with Fess Parker – Davy Crockett and of course it is Dead Elvis Day. All Elvis All Day – bring it ON!

I often indulge myself on my birthday, I never use to but I treat myself now to only do things I want to do. This includes NOT HAVING A PARTY. I hate parties. But I love spending time with a few well chosen chums and loved ones. I love little surprises like birthday fairies leaving treats on my porch without ringing the bell, magical coffee appearing and free junk. Sephora sent me an email to pick up lip balm from them today – free! Sure it will be a tiny sample, but it’s free!

Today I will go for a bike ride, spend some birthday money on an umbrella stand for my Mary Poppins Umbrella (Thanks Mom and Dad!!!), have dinner at the Keg, go Fringing, eat cake pops and perhaps read in the tub with candles and bubbles up to my eyeballs.

There is one thing I want for my birthday. I wish on a star for it every year. I have told the universe about it. I will likely never happen, but I keep hoping. This might actually be the year. However I am patient and can wait another 45 years for it. I will never speak it out loud because that will ruin it. People who know me well will be able to figure it out. When it happens I will cry. It costs nothing. There is not a dollar amount to be had, yet it would be priceless to me. I tear up thinking about it. Sigh…..

Meanwhile, I am thankful for so many wonderful friends and family, my cup is really over flowing. Now that I am 45 have figured out what is important to me, what I dislike and will no longer tolerate and what I cannot live without. Well… I could live without it but I choose not to. Here is my list, The Edmonton Tourist Birthday Indulgences that are indulged in all year because once you hit 39 birthdays happen quicker and there is not enough time to get them all in list:

1. Long lovely chats with friends. I have a few friends who I NEED to spend time with. I need it like I need air to breath. I will stop everything to answer their call, text or email. I will not give them up in spite of how crazy they make me. I love them and they love me. I will defend them to the death and I know they have my back too. In fact I have had war of words and made enemies with people because of my need to defend and protect these 3 people. I won’t say who they are, they know it and that’s all that matters.
2. Music. I had lost music for a while and I blame myself when I want to blame that fellow who TOOK my stereo to his office to use for the switch board and never replaced it until a decade later when I received my first iPod. But really…I should have told him to fek off and demand music in my life not TV. I am  not a TV watcher. I watch movies and news and even not so much news because I read my news on social networking sites. But Music is my passion, it lifts me, it relaxes me, transports me to other places, dimension and feelings. I have everything from Disney to ZZ Top in my rotation and tons of other genres in between – except Michael Jackson. I never enjoyed his music, even when he was a black dude. His “woos” and “aaahhhhs” make me want to punch him in the face. I endured 2 showings of Captain EO and that is 40 minutes of my life I will never get back. NEVER. Today will be about some Disney ride soundtracks and park loops so I can reminisce about birthdays past and future.
3. Bikes. in high school I would ride my bike from Sherwood Park to Edmonton through the river valley. My babies stopped me for a while, mostly because of cash to have the proper safety equipment. I gave up my career to be the best mom I could for them, but that meant giving up other stuff so they could stay healthy and have things like food and shelter. I’m going for a bike ride today and I cannot wait! I’m taking Chatterbox’s bike because Genetic offsprings bike is too big and he doesn’t share. I have no idea where I am going but that is part of the adventure of cycling.
4. Books. I am reading my 30th book of the year – not including text books and books for my classes. 30 books for pleasure. |I have expanded my genre horizon and tried books that scared me before. I read books that bored me, scared me and horrified me. I read books that made me weep, made me explore my sexual side and taught me new lessons. I read books that made me want to travel to distant places and stay away from places. Today will be spent with Steve Jobs. I am half way through his biography and am shocked, enthralled, inspired and motivated.
5. Arts. Today is about dramatic Arts. I will fringe today. I haven’t been able to get to the art gallery in quite some time, but i am going on Monday. I write daily on my book, blog and in letters to friends. I am working on a painted piece for a friend. I draw, sketch and paint on a regular basis. Being creative releases the ugly and keeps me smart and focused. I use it to take my mind off anxiety causing events, to be closer to people from my past and present and people who are no longer with me. i do it because i think of them and in return, they inspire me.
6. Snuggles. There is nothing finer than having your kiddos meet you at the airport and hug you in public, except when they let you kiss them on the cheek.
7. Laughter. I had lost this for a bit during my depression. I would laugh, but never hard. I missed it. I get the occasional note or text from a friend that makes me howl and brings tears to my eyes. Keeping it light and silly is fun for me. Now that I have climbed out of the dark abyss I am laughing again. Love it!

Seven things that I indulge in always. I know the list will grow as I figure out stuff. I indulge in things that make me smile and say no to those things I hate, that I use to do because it was expected. Well I am I 45 now, time to put on purple lipstick and get my cranky pants on because just because YOU expect something from me doesn’t mean I will indulge you. Find the things that make you happy – they are events, circumstances not stuff you buy, things you make people do. Having someone do something for you un asked and uninvited is lovely beyond words. I have discovered my life is to short to waste on things that have no meaning for me. 45, my life is half done – if I am lucky, so I will spend the next 45 years extending my 64 days of awesome into a life time of awesome.

I need to share what one of my awesome friends sent me for my birthday. He lives in Argentina and we share a love of vintage animation. His humor comes through in  translation, Mr. Google translator is our friend to keep the conversation going. Yet Mr. Google is not the best at helping us, it gets the point across. This little song he made for me made me laugh. I can visualize the animation sequence that needs to go with it.

Vocaroo Voice Message.

 

My life is rich and full with family and friends. Happy Birthday to me! I am one very lucky girl.

 

 

 

Wordless Wednesday: Reflection

Bucket List Intervention: Preventing the Shoulda Coulda Woulda Syndrome

 

A while back I created a list called 50 in 50. It was designed to help me achieve things I wanted to do before I reach the age of 50 (five years and one month away). Since I created that list, I added a *subject to* clause so I wouldn’t be stuck if something just didn’t appeal to me any longer. It was also created with the intent that perhaps I may die by the age of 52. That had always been a number that seemed possible. Either I would die when I was 52 or in 2052. i figured life was ticking by and I needed to get to work on the risk taking, achieving stuff – you know how it goes with this whole middle-aged thing. You become concerned about stuff like that. The last thing anyone wants is to be on their death-bed thinking “Woulda Coulda Shoulda” Well, that is NOT going to be me. However, my list need tweaking.

 

I was talking to ChatterBox today and she shared with me one of her bucket list items – get into a bar fight. What??? Her brother advised that those things never go well…and how does he know??? It is my hope she either tweaks her own list, or comes out the winner.

 

So going through the items on my own list called 50 in 50, Number 12 is annoying me.

 

12. I will read 50 of Time Magazine’s Top 100 Novels 

 

Yeah…. that’s not going to happen. I have tried it but it’s not fun. I want to know why those were the books chosen. I have started many of those books and found them painfully boring. As in, I am no longer in high school, why I am forced to read this? Good question. I am not in high school, so I choose to say no. I do not want to plod my way through books when there is an entire world library out there for me to explore. So Good bye 12. We must change you.

 

Here is the next questionable one,

 

21. I will drive to Whitehorse, Yukon in the summer.

 

I was warned by a friend who lived up there about the shale gravel roads and how they shred your tires. Whitehorse is far from my house and the expense to go may not be worth it in the end. If an oppourtunity comes up, I won’t say no – but to plan and execute this trip when I could drive East to Quebec and the Maritimes instead, is much more appealing. So NO to Whitehorse.

 

37. I will make one last quilt – Queen size

 

Yeah….that is not going to happen either. I pulled out my machine to make baby quilts and decided I just don’t like doing it anymore. I love the look of quilts, I have several tops I plan to have sandwiched and quilted, but I am not going to be doing it myself. So I went to Winners and bought one for my bed, it is Tiffany Blue to match the Tiffany Box theme of my room. I have neither the drive or desire to go back and try old stuff that annoys me.

 

So now the task of replacing those list items.

 

I have done so many new things since the start of my tourist journey, so I looked up a 1000 bucket list ideas and discovered I have done a pile of those already, like used a pogo stick, paddled a canoe on the river with class 3 rapids and never capsized, seen wild life in their natural habitat – everything from a Kodiak Bear to a Wallaby with Grizzlies and Red Deer in between. I have pealed logs and built a log home, I have kayaked on the ocean and had an orca popped up beside me to just watch me with their big eye. I have sold crafts made from my own hands, been a clown and received a paycheck for it, I wave walked across a ridge pole of a two-story house and zip lined through the boreal forest at heights that scared the bejezus out of me.

 

Looking back at all the things I have tried, which are too numerous to list, I have to give myself a little credit. I am not the hindered girl I thought I was. I was quite adventurous at most points in my life and as of late, I am regaining that momentum. So what 3 possible things could I add to my list?

 

Well, in the number 12 spot, Write a novel. I have started it, I am enjoying reading it as well as writing it. It is not my intent to try to publish it but who knows? I would like to write a book and so I am doing it.

 

12. Write a novel

 

Now what for #21? I want a meditation room. A room created for me to read, relax, practice yoga or meditate in. I want it to feel like it is from the pages of Dwell magazine, lovely, peaceful and serene.

 

21. Create a meditation room

 

#37. One last thing… I want to love to cook again. I currently hate it. i have a vegetarian and a carnivore to cook for plus the carnivore hates most everything. I always claim I am not a restaurant, but I end up being one. So just for me I want to Master the Art of French Cooking with Julia Child.  There are 545 recipes in it, but there is food in there like, organs – I am not willing to cook. I will look and make sure I have the processes down.

 

37. Master the Art of French Cooking with Julia Child

 
I am 5 years away from the deadline, so I still reserve the right to change an alter the list as I grow up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Tale of the Ninja Attack

 

You heard correctly, I was ambushed by a ninja – yet live to tell the tale. I was lounging on my deck reading something intellectually stimulating like Diane Chamberlain, when the sky began to darken  and my eReader started to get wet. I felt extreme disappointment because this time was specifically put aside for reading outside. Little did I know, it was all part of the plan.

 

A few days before, Edmonton suffered through an incredible storm that brought hail that resembled a snow storm and rain drops that were 2cm in diameter. My furniture had just completely dried and I was not willing to allow my sofa cushions to relive a torrential downpour twice in one week. So I began the unpleasant task of bringing the cushions into my living room when I was attacked.

 

I am positive it was a ninja attack because it came out of no where. I nearly completed my job when it happened. I was walking through my wooden screen door. You know the kind, they squeak when you open it, it doesn’t stay open by itself because of the big spring on it and it makes a loud smack as it shuts. At this point it all becomes a blur because it happened so fast.

 

I remember being hit in the face with something sharp and all I could see was the red cushion coming at me in an attempt to smother my screams.

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

As quickly as it happened, it ended. I heard no one. I saw no one. Yet I KNOW someone just tried to kill me. My own stealthy moves had me on high alert. I practice Ninja Yoga with some regularity so I am confident in my stealth skills. With lightning agility, I quickly moved into the living room before the monsoon hit. I assessed the damage and scanned the room for a witness of a predator. I found neither.

 

I let my fingers scan the flesh on my face and discovered a slight scratch. Nothing serious, I had experienced greater boughts of pain before, I could easily let this slide.

 

The rain ended as quickly as it began and I moved the cushions back out to the deck and resumed my reading. What is odd about this situation is every day since the scratch on my face has become a deeper red – it is as if I had been poisoned by a Hira-Shuriken – for those of you not familiar with ninja lingo, you civilians refer to it as a “Ninja Star” or “Throwing Star”. Enemies will often lace their hira-shuriken with poison or other bacteria that would cause an infection that could lead to death.

 

I am stealthy enough to have had the Hira-Shuriken miss my eyes, yet I was unable to avoid complete collision because let’s be honest here, I am not a professional ninja, I am just a ninja enthusiast. I use those skills to enhance my superhero capabilities. I am not perfect.

 

The result is this:

 

See how it narrowly missed my eye? That is all because of skill on my part that I did not go blind.

 

 

The real problem is, I am tired of telling people I was attacked by a Ninja. Everyone is always asking me what happened. So I’ve started saying “pillow fight” for several reasons:

 

1. I need to keep my superpowers on the down-low for obvious reasons. I need to be able to take on an opponent and take them by surprise. The ninja incident was a good reminder of that.
2. Being a Superhero is a VOLUNTEER position people! I can’t have it get out to too many people or I will never earn a paycheck. Only the lucky superheros get on with big government agencies. The rest of us do it out of love – but love don’t pay the rent!
3. The more my name becomes recognizable, the more famous I become and therefore my children, family and friends will become targets. They always hurt the ones you love the most.

Meanwhile, I need to find an antidote or by a tube of polysporin. No mom I did not go to the doctor and yes my shots are up to date, you don’t need to call. The time for resting is over – we must be vigilant.

 

The good news? I am going to have a kick-ass scar – eat your heart out Black Widow.

 

 

 

64 Days of Awesome continues…

As a teacher, one of the many perks I benefit from is Summer Break. Now I am not going to argue with you about whether or not teachers deserve it because you will lose that argument. You can read because a teacher taught you how. ANYWAYS…

I am currently on my 64 days of Awesome. I typically need serious sleep the first few days of my vacation from burnout, fatigue, stress and a multitude of other reasons. I have denied myself that luxury.

Shocking? You bet it is. There is no one on the planet other than Bears, who like to sleep more than me. But this summer, I am on a mission. I am determined not to waste a single moment and plan to do something fun everyday. Today is July 17th, I am 19 days in. Time to evaluate the situation.

Books: I thought I would read more than I have been. My 50/50 me. project is seriously failing. I haven’t read the volumes I had hoped to because I am too busy! I am just finishing The secret Life of CeeCee Wilkes. It has taken me WEEKS!

Festivals: Went to The Edmonton Street performers festival and watched the Silent Disco. That was a TOTAL FAIL. “You pay $2 to go into a roped off pavement/dance floor wearing head phones. Then dance by yourself. I can do that for FREE outside of the dance floor with my earbuds and iPhone. Besides, my music rotations is likely better.

I didn’t make it to Art Walk this year, I am suffering BIG time from the forest fires. It was bad that day. my Asthma is killing me this summer. So Running and some outside activities are off.

City Markets: I love a good farmers market! Nothing says enviro-friendly like local grown organic yummy fresh fruit and vegetables. I have been going to the market downtown every Saturday. I often will come home with my salad fixings, breakfast fruit and a bottle of wine from the groovy little wine shop along the market street. The only way my Saturdays could be better would be if I LIVED in a loft downtown. Once the offspring fly the coupe, I am looking for a condo or something down there.

New Things: Part of my 52 new things project I started in January was to try a new thing every week. i am already at 50 things for the year. That was WAY easier than I thought it would be. This summer’s highlights include, My Really Big things Adventure in Saskatchewan, Zombie Flash Mob ensemble, Capital Ex Parade float participant and running bright and early in the morning. I have met some amazing new people to add to my collection of knowing a million people and counting.

Movies: Again a total FAIL just like the books. I have a list of movies I want to see, Spiderman, Batman, Brave, Mike – obviously all intellectual movies, yet I haven’t made it out once since seeing Chris Pine in that movie I can’t remember but he was delicious anyways.

Writing: FAIL – wow I thought I would get to write lots now that I am not writing papers for university. That would be NO. I have no drive to sit and work on my book. I am half way through and had thought about hitting about 1000 words a day. I blog that much, but fiction is different. Maybe next week. I am however, writing lots of stuff including press copy for the Scarecrow Festival. That has been a lot of fun! I have been interviewing new people and learning crazy things in the process! So I guess writing isn’t a total fail!

Quilting: I am happy to report, 1 out of no less than 5 baby quilts are done. It is adorable and I took step by steps for a blog I want to post on pinterest.

Traveling: I went to Regina with ChatterBox, and in August I am off on a top secret vacation with two of my girlfriends. It will be fun and fab -AND the tickets arrived today! YAY!

That is quite the list so far. I do manage to sleep but not for long. Today my 64 days of awesome includes more quilting, swimming and writing. 2 of my favorite things and quilting for another – sweet babies. I’m just THRILLED about not being the mommies

What are you up to this summer?

There’s not a lot going on

ChatterBox fulfilled a life long dream last Friday. She is only 14 and now needs to decide on another bucketlist item.

Part of our Big Adventure Tour was taking the trip to Rouleau Saskatchewan and seeing the spot where Corner Gas was filmed on location. I must admit, it was fun and somewhat hilarious. Some things were just made funnier given the background knowledge of southern Saskatchewan. For example:

1. The famed surveillance bush Karen and Davis would hide their police vehicle behind was only a small bush because there is not a tree to be seen for miles. If you need a tree, you plant one yourself.
2. Emma the Crossing Guard for the local school. We were the ONLY car on the road in Dog River, I highly doubt the need for a crossing guard. This made it that much more fun.

As we drove into Rouleau, ChatterBox was all excited because she recognized character’s homes from the show. We got out to look around and found the Foo Mart (the D fell off a very long time ago and it was renamed Foo). We found the Stoop – the Dog River Police and Mayor office, we saw Oscar and Emma’s hom as well as the softball fields and the curling rink. The biggest deal remains the Corner Gas Station itself. ChatterBox ran out of the car to quickly take photos. It was just like the tv series only now, it was real.

We wandered into the Corner Gas set and it was surreal. I expected Wanda to be sitting behind the counter. The shop owner invited ChatterBox to stand behind the counter then she encouraged us to visit the Ruby. It was cool. We sat IN THE BOOTH.

I know most of you have no idea what Corner Gas is. It was a big deal in Canada. It was never on the CBC – the channel that pities Canadian content. It had 1 million viewers per episode and it went into syndication in the States. All things unheard of for Canadian television with the exception of Hockey Night in Canada where original 6 home cities watched from across the border.I’m sure you all have your quirky home grown tv from your country – or not. For those of us who had Oscar for a grandpa and Hank as your nephew, it was pretty nifty.

 

Other than that…there’s not a lot going on.

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