Did that really just come out of your mouth?

Wonders never cease. It amazes me that men and women gravitate towards each other. On a cerebral level it makes no sense to me. Of course on a biological level it makes COMPLETE sense. But seriously, are they really all that necessary?

Before I get going I want to make a public statement saying I love the men in my life! They make me laugh, they comfort me and when it really comes down to it, they love me enough to give me my space. That is the key for me because I am an introvert. I know every one of my friends is laughing their heads off right now. No, really, it’s true! Given a choice to go out and have a girls night, or stay home and read. I choose read every time. My men know this and are used to me saying “I am going to be by myself now, don’t bother me.” I am blunt when I say it and they all think “PHEW! it’s about time! She is Craaaaannnnnkkkkyyyyyyy!” My family understands the need for me to recharge myself. I am “on” all day at work and quite frankly, that is exhausting. Quiet, alone time is a luxury that I will never give up. My siblings are exactly the same. You ask them to participate in some large group they will often say…”mmmm naw I’m good” and off they go to be alone. Wow, we sound like circus freaks. We do have perfectly polite social skills and use them with outsiders. But amongst ourselves we are very in your face BLUNT with the no, “I don’t want to be around you right now”. That is not to say we don’t socialize, we do, we actually spend an insane amount of time with each other, but my in-laws first encounter with my family was….What the….?!? When a birthday party in my family starts at 7.00pm, then everyone arrives EXACTLY at 7.00pm on the nose. Gifts, cake and 30 minutes of polite conversation then BANG! My family stands up and leaves. Gone and it is only 8.00pm. You should have seen the look on the faces of my in-laws. They were STUNNED. But I digress…..

So the question remains, are men really necessary entities in the life of a well-balanced woman? You read Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. You know she spends a year of celibacy finding herself. I TOTALLY recommend that book to every woman under the age of thirty and over the age of 31. But do we all need to give up that fabulous man in our life to really learn about our self? Some women do. But I love men. In most cases I love men more than women. Don’t even go there, I am not a sex crazed lunatic who brags about being a nymphomaniac. Ask my husband, and he will laugh until he can’t stand up straight. No, I mean I love the male brain. Yes I can hear all my friends laughing again. But seriously, for me there is nothing more inspiring than how or what a man is thinking. One of my best friends is male. We share the same humor – Python-esc thank you very much. He introduced me to Chewing the Fat – brilliant humor! His stories always have me captivated. His wife (who is also my best friend but in a different way) often says “call Robyn, she will watch this movie with you” and it’s true. He and I laugh and laugh hard. I love it! Then there is my Father, smart, witty, insightful and loves self depreciating humor. Often he will say something and my sister and I will just look at him, shake our head and laugh. I treasure that relationship with my dad! My Husband’s the same way – just don’t tell him – I love it when we are on the same wave length when it comes to humor! But that’s not to say that the men in my life are always profound. On more than one occasion I have heard myself and my girlfriends say “Did that really just come out of your mouth?” Men tend to verbalize then think. This is different from all the smart, brilliant women in my life. Men will be all excited and enjoy the fact that they have their women captivated with what they are saying and then WHAMO! Out it comes, the verbal diarrhea. The room gets silent and the women just stare at the men like they are freaks of nature – which of course at that point they are. Someone always says “tell me you didn’t just say that”. Suddenly the party is over and the man is left wondering what happened. After everyone leaves you will hear me ask my husband “what were you thinking?” Usually meant as a rhetorical question, but I truly want to know! It may not be him that said it, but I blame him because it was one of his friends that said it. AND he picks his friends – ok who are we kidding, I pick the wives for friends and the husbands tag along. They don’t care, a mates a mate in their eyes, as long as us gals are happy. Am I wrong? So this led me to do some research. I wanted to know WHAT MEN THINK and HOW MEN THINK. The best way to do this of course is to read what they write. Novels by men tend not to captivate me in the same way as women authors do. So I turned to blogs.

http://rzrpromo.blogspot.com/

Men are Dumb, and I Should know by Jeff Roney is hilarious! Reading his blog is like listening to my husband. I completely understand his wife’s frustration.

http://backofthepacker.wordpress.com/

Built for Comfort Not Speed by abronxturtle is also hilarious and oddly inspiring!  I can’t see myself ever running a marathon but can often relate to his musings.

There is something restful about the way a man writes. It is straightforward and to the point. It isn’t cluttered with shoulda- woulda- coulda’s.  I always walk away from reading these blogs with an open adoration for these frank, lay- it -on- the- line style of writings.

Blogs for me are not just a way to pass the time reading something enjoyable, but are in fact research! This is what I have learned:

  • Men don’t over think. Women in sharp contrast over think EVERYTHING.
  • Men are inspirational when they don’t try to be
  • Men are far more intelligent the us women give them credit for

So, are men really that necessary in the life of a smart, independent woman?  Absolutely! My life wouldn’t be as fun or as thought-provoking without them. I love meeting every single one of them on my adventures as a tourist.

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