My Arch Nemesis is…Photocopier.

Today was one of those technological disaster days. The Fax, the Phone, the Internet and the Photocopier all kicked me in the shin today, spit on my shoe and laughed in my face. Oh yeah? Well I don’t like you very much either technology!!

In my workplace we work in teams. Each of us has a specific strength. When one person is away, the rest of us miss them terribly! My strengths are techno evil genius, and bossy boots. I need to clarify the techno evil genius. As far as technology goes, I am the one who does not fear it. I am very familiar with it because I will stand up to technology and laugh in its face. I refuse to let it think it is smarter than me. If it cheeks me, I will unplug it. Shortly there after it is sorry and we are friends once again.

Today was one of those days that it needed to avenge its pride. There it was taunting me and teasing me, generally making me feel bullied. It knew my side kick was away.

Every superhero/evil genius has a side kick, Batman and Robin, Electra Woman and Dyna Girl, and even Dr. Evil and Mini Me. My side kick or partner in crime, broke her leg 14 days ago and I miss her terribly. In her absence arrived this amazing creature who could easily be  Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow from Ironman 2 except for one small very minor detail, technology scares her. She is the first to admit she is a magnet for techno disaster. 14 days later, the office technology decided to test her prowess. She has an abundance of it in every aspect except techno wizardry. Everything, except the electric pencil sharpener decided to put the Black Widow to the test. She battled valiantly, but in the end she didn’t win. She came to get me.

The phone, fax and internet was an easy fix, I am a whiz when it comes to these forms. The photocopier is another story, it is my partner’s area of expertise.  Everyone sat around at lunch looking at this beast saying things like “to bad your partner in crime wasn’t here” and “I guess we won’t be using it for a while”.  Thanks for the vote of confidence people!

I rolled up my sleeves and stood before the photocopier. I assumed the super hero stance, you know the one, hands on hips, feet shoulder width apart, steely gaze emitting from eyes. I was showing Photocopier who was boss. Then it spit on my shoe and mocked me. HOW DARE IT! It was flashing mumbo jumbo and tips on how to fixed it. I was tricked into listening to it. Photocopier, you are a liar! You weren’t trying to help me, you wanted to thwart me! I wasn’t going to stand for your taunting any longer. So as all Service Techs will ask you, Did you turn off the main power switch at the back of the machine and unplug it? YES I DID Service Tech! I am not your average amateur! I left Photocopier defenseless as I went back to my real job of not being a techno wizard. HA HA Photocopier, are you scared now sitting alone in the dark waiting for someone to save you in the morning?

I really hope my partner finds out she does not need surgery tomorrow. I really hope she comes back while I am on vacation. If she has to be away longer I fear the technology will rise up against my team and create a chaos that may leave them literally in the dark.

As part of my Tourist journey, I need to be courageous in the face of technology. Keeping up with changes and embracing the new. I need to be current for my sake, for my career and for my offspring. I never want to be the adult where the offspring pat me on the head and say here mom, let me fix it. So to achieve that goal I need to start with two things: I need a good sleep and extra Euros. I need to sleep to face Photocopier and teach it a lesson. I need the Euros to buy more chocolate for my team.

Until we meet tomorrow Photocopier!

5 thoughts on “My Arch Nemesis is…Photocopier.

  1. As one old Techie help desk slave once said, “It’s not the machine that’s at fault” shortly before being hung up on.

    Fear not young Padawan, sometimes a little time in the cooler helps both sides see things more clearly. Especially beneficial when trying to get a balky photocopier (Xerox machine for you real old timers) to spit out that last little bit of paper that the previous user “forgot” to mention to you that they had “gently” pulled from the rollers when it last jammed.

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