Are you a Table Stalker?

A food concession stand at the Costco warehous...
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Saturday! No getting up early for work today, but I still got up early to take ChatterBox to swim lessons. Early for me is any time I need to set my alarm. We had a morning of lessons, book store shopping, clothes shopping (new size smaller today!) and the Costco Grocery run.

Costco on a Saturday. Running through your mind is, so Tourist, you must be crazy! Yes, yes I am, but we needed a Costco run! I was about ready to crash food wise, and so was ChatterBox. The Costco food counter is NOT my idea of delicious healthy good for you nutritional food. But here we were and we were hungry and it is cheap. Honey went to pay for the food, while ChatterBox and I found us a table on a Saturday. Sounds impossible, and to some people it is. But for us, we stalk.

There are two schools of thought on this:

1>If people sat after they pay for their food without the stalkers then there would be plenty of spots available.


2>Hover over people until they leave.

We have a system. We form a triangular pattern around the perimeter of the table area. There are 16 tables ( not nearly enough Costco!) in the center. We maintain eye contact with each other at all times. As once person spots table movement, we start to inch closer. Coats start to go on the table leavers, we move in for the kill table.
Not ideal but we are in survival mode at this point.

Are you a table stalker?

18 thoughts on “Are you a Table Stalker?

  1. I call this the first law of inverse assholeality.

    It operates like this:

    When you are waiting for a table, the people sitting at the table, obviously finished their meal and dawdling over their coffee, you think what a bunch of ‘ a-holes.’

    When you are sitting at your table and there is a big line of people wanting your table as you dawdle over coffee, you look at the line and think to yourself ‘what a bunch of ‘a-holes.’

  2. I bow to you Tourist! Costco on a Saturday is not for the faint of heart, a club at which I am a proud member! No, I prefer to do a Costco run, if at all possible on a Tuesday at 2:00 in the afternoon!

    And congrats on the size smaller! Good job.

  3. Also when you get to a place to eat & there is a wait…(these places usually don’t leave alot of seating for those waiting)…’s mad dash to sit down when somebody gets called to their tables….LOL…always funny!

  4. Yes . . .I am a table stalker. I also find it helps if you can make direct eye contact with the people sitting. If they are nearly finish . . .they will eat faster and leave so that you will stop staring at them . . .I guess it makes that uncomfortable.

  5. I just remembered this one too….many years ago me & bunch of guys used to go to Hooters for Monday Night Football….one of the waitresses told us that the reason they have those hard, uncomfortable wooden stools to sit on…was for turn around. You get tired of sitting on them & leave & then they can get more people in. Sucks for you, but sounds like a smart business strategy.

  6. I’m not a table stalker, but I do love their $1.50 hot dog combo meal. I’ll eat it standing up for that price.

    I’ll eat it standing up in bed, I should say…

  7. Maybe not a full-fledged stalker, but I do search out a good spot before we get the food at Costco. Otherwise when it’s busy we walk with our pizza and drink in the cart and put Little Sister in the basket. She just figured out how to work the straw, so we need to rethink this configuration!

  8. Costco sounds “lovely”. I was going to ask what Costco is…. but i think everyone’s comments have created a perfect picture. I hate places like that…. people generally leave teh table such a mess, and you are left wondering what that stickiness that you just touched coudl possibly be….and then again- sometimes you so need food so so badly that your stomach has staretd to eat itself.
    PS Congratulations on the dress size! It is not even three weeks into the New Year!!

    1. HAHAHa Costco lovely, that made me laugh. The good thing about the tables is everyone eats on their tray so the tables aren’t terrible πŸ˜‰
      Costco is a Giant Warehouse specializing in bulk items. Everything is LARGE. They get in great finds tho, like furniture and garden accessories.

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