I am 16,060 days old.

Shameless Plug —-> Today is my Birthday!

As with all my birthdays of the past, my friends are all on vacation, scattered to various parts of the universe. Lucky dogs are in Vancouver, Newfoundland, England, Greece, New York, Hawaii and Disneyland. Then there is the Entourage, they are in Idaho. So it was a typical birthday for me. Spent alone….awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Until 4:30.

Then I went to pick up my Gran, Mrs. Stadler and the Capo. The Capo is my Favorite Aunt. She is really more like my sister in all ways including age. Just a few years apart. Girls night on the prowl…to a Gay Club to watch a Drag Show.

This was the first time my Gran, who is 84 btw -( sorry Gran, but be proud!) to go to a Gay Club AND watch a Drag Show. She can now cross that off her bucket list! I am pretty sure she loved it, I could hear her howl with laughter. The guy gal female impersonator was fantastic! His Her The show is called EYECONS and she sang all her songs, which is unusual for the drag shows I have seen. They tend to be lip-synced. When she did Judy Garland, I swear it was Judy on stage being channeled. FABULOUS and funny, go see it if it is ever in your town. EYECONS is here part of the Edmonton Fringe.

Our dinner was a healthy Corn Dog and Poutine – standard carne food. I enjoyed libations of Candy Apple – mmmm never had that before- at the club and the it was off to Flirt for a birthday cup cake. I had THE DON, the Capo had a BOOB and Mrs. Stadler had Carrot Cake…boring name but tasty.

We laughed and strolled through the Fringe site where I had my face read by a psychic. She nailed everything and made me cry.  I think I need to ponder some of what she said more thoroughly.

By this time it was 8:30 and the birthday girl was tired. TIRED for crying out loud! 8:30 at night, I didn’t work all day because I watch Sex in the City (I have a thing for Big and men who live like Big in New York) I DID NOTHING!!!! Here was me wanting to go home home and rest!!! My 84 year old Granny said, “well you don’t take after me! I’m up long past 11:30!” Crickey! Middle aged and needing a nap.  NOT COOL!

We piled into the car and I yawned. WTF?!?! I use to be the girl who stayed up until 3! Not this year! I tell myself it is because of all the exercise I do, but I secretly fear it has to do with oldness. 44 is half way to 88. That makes me middle age, because God forbid I live past 88! If I do, I am wearing ruby red lipstick and carrying a cane to whack people with. Just saying…

Once in the car, the Capo talked about how cranky she is getting and it is worse when people ask why. She said ” Oh for crying out loud, I am 50 and menopausal! I have hormones! I am entitled to be cranky!!” She gave me a birthday card that said “Happy Birthday to someone I like… This is a big deal. I hardly like anybody.”  She signed it Aunty. I think I am the cause of her crankiness. I have never called her Aunty in my life. This has ALWAYS annoyed her. Her crankiness is now on steroids due to “hormones”. THEN the topic changed to how many times do you have to get up in the middle of the night to pee! WTF?!?! I don’t want to hear that! It’s my birthday! They talked about the value of a bed pan and how simple it would be to wear a diaper…well not Gran, she said”I NEVER WANT TO WEAR ONE!” I know women my age who wear them on long car trips because their husband won’t stop to let them use the loo. DEAR HUSBANDS who won’t stop, NOT COOL! Asking your sweetie to put penaten on your arse is not sexy and not romantic…just saying. Unless you’re into that – Not that there’s anything wrong with that…

Is this what I have to look forward too?? 6 years away of thinking bedpans are a good thing?? Kill me now. Screw dying at 88, I’m good to go now while I am feeling good. But it sucks. I finally have good hair! I just got a personal trainer today! I own a Tiffany necklace and want to get some wear out of it!

Happy Birthday to me :)

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About The Edmonton Tourist

One day I woke up and was decidedly unhappy about the way my life was heading. I decided I needed a change. When I travel I often take new risks, be flexible and am generally adventurous. So, I decided that I need to start being a Tourist in my Own life and not just on vacation. I am many things but the new role for me is Tourist.

9 thoughts on “I am 16,060 days old.

  1. well all i can say it was a wonderfull day and i dont mind that you made me a grandmother at 40 years old it has been a wonder trip with you and the rest of the troops you brought a lot of happynes to gramps and i love g.g.

  2. Hey we had a great time last night despite the bedpan talk. When I got home I told Craig about the two audience members up front named Peter and Muffanne. He thought that was pretty funny and yeah you guessed it. He figured out the entertainer would bug that couple through the show. Cupcakes were great and I enjoyed my very first poutine. Next time elephant ears!!

    • I would have NEVER told a cabaret act that my name was Muff-Ann!! That is just asking for trouble Welsh or not, lol! It was a great time!! Thanks for the fun birthday :) Oh and congratulations on you first poutine! Welcome to the knowing ;)

  3. Happy Birthday for the 16th! :) It looks like you had a pretty good time. I need to find a psychic like yours – I had a tarot/spirit reading the other week and while I’m not one to be cynical of that sort of thing, some of the things that were brought up seemed to be quite at odds with the kind of person I am.

    Enjoy your youthful energy ET, here’s to many more years of fun and adventuring! :)

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