How I Learned about World History from my Mom

My Parents left the old country (Canada) last week for a whirl-wind cruise vacation to various countries that are hosting “uprisings” this week. It was their first real cruise. And when I say real, I mean they didn’t have to pack a lunch on sleep on the floor. Those are called FERRY CROSSINGS…just saying.

When they told me they were about to embark on a trip that fulfilled one of their bucket-list requirements, I was, well… concerned to say the least. I mean, who PAYS money to go to Israel and then think about RENTING a car to visit places they want to see?  My parents THAT’S Who! My parents boggle my mind. They have this inner wanderlust that takes them to destinations all over the world. Nothing is a big deal. If they can’t speak the language – which is in every country they visit – they ask in English. They always meet someone who understands them. They always figure out a new plan when plans A thru Q don’t work. They are quite amazing actually. Words I use to describe my parents are Resilient, Intuitive, Adventurous, Curious, Insane, Nuts and Crazy. All of those qualities they bestowed upon their children. Their daughters have a stronger sense of those positive qualities than their son, but sisters are suppose to say that and pick on their brothers – it is the law of nature.

Mom sent me a lovely note today to A) let us know she is still alive and B) to let us know she misses us and when I say us I mean the grandkids and C) they saw their first riot-police in full gear. She demanded to know, in the politest Canadian way, what the news was from the Old Country. I shared in point form, in case they are being shot at and had to read quickly, all the lovely details that I deem important. Things like Genetic OffSpring ate corn, Chatterbox went to ANOTHER party, I got bit at work, you know, the IMPORTANT STUFF that moms want to know. I also told her that Alberta has a FEMALE Premiere for the first time and I had pancakes for breakfast. Moms like to know if you are eating right.

I love getting trip reports from my mom. They take me right back to when I was a kid and we were seeing amazing things. For example, Mom and Dad don’t just look at something and say “huh, so that’s the Flag Betsie Ross made. Cool” no, my parents like to surmise about the historical social facts that surround what we are looking at. They say things like “I bet Betsie Ross and George Washington were having an affair” Then we all chip in with fake fact conversations that would likely have happened.

Let me share with you some of the email my mom sent to me, brought to you by today’s musings about St. Helen:

Tomorrow we are off to Cyprus. Supposedly this is where St. Helen stopped off when she was hauling the crucifix back to where I do not know. What I want to know is who the heck is St. Helen, why was it her responsibility to haul the cross around, and where was she going with it. I have this image of this little old lady wandering around the world with this huge cross on her back. First of all, how did she even come in contact with the cross? Was she standing around, watching the crucifix and when it was over did she say to herself, “hey, I should take that with me – no one else seemed to want it – something like mom and the jam off the table at restaurants” . . . .or did the guys look over at her and say – “woman – can you clear this away for us.”

If I was there I would reply with “Typical men, always in for the adventure, but not wanting to do the clean up or any of the dirty work.” Mom and I would then get into ranting about how unfair it was for poor St. Helen to have to clean up the Crucifix and looking for an ecostation that would accept it. So there she was, walking from Country to Country hauling that thing on her back, then in great female fashion, decide to chop it up and sell it to make a buck or two. Therefore she became Saint because she was the worlds first Female Entrepreneur! How Cool Is That????? Wow, I want to go to Cyprus too so I can see the birthplace of feminism!! No wonder they named a volcano after her. All that fiery inner strength – I think I love St. Helen. Favorite Saint EVER!

Oh MAN I wish I was on another adventure with my parents! Maybe I can talk them into driving to Dawson City with me next year and we can learn about the women rum runners and how they controlled the Yukon economy! I’ll let you know how that conversation goes.

Meanwhile, mom and dad, If you find pieces of the cross on sale – don’t pay full price because it’s old – buy me one. St. Helen is my hero.

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In other news…My friend Oracle from Australia has invited me to guest blog. My problem is I don’t know what to write about. He lives in the future and already knows what I wrote, but he won’t tell me. So dear readers, throw out some suggestions for me. Drop me a line. Tell me what you want to hear more about.

Love E.T.

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6 thoughts on “How I Learned about World History from my Mom

    1. Hmmm well I would panic and have a nervous breakdown. They would be all cool and groovy about it and try something else. If you knew my parents, you wouldn’t think “cool” and “goovy” would be appropriate adjectives.

  1. I think that is amazing. I have a few friends who are like that too, will go anywhere and have no real fear of any of it. There’s something to be said about having that kind of free spirit. Me on the other hand, I am quite risk-averse and wouldn’t take on a challenging trip like that. Good for them!

    1. When I am on vacation I do not enjoy being shot at. But i have had men with machine guns climb aboard the caravan and check it out at border crossings. Sooooo, I guess I must have the same leve of risk factor embeded within me. It does have the safety switch on while the offspring are in my charge.

  2. I can’t believe we have a premier who is a woman. Cannot believe it. I am waiting patiently to celebrate until I am reasonably certain that she will not be exposed to be another Alberta Good Ol’ Boy in very convincing drag. Also? Your parents are awesome!

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