I had my heart broken today. One thing made it better. My kiddies running off the bus, running up to me and hugging me because they hadn’t seen me since Friday. I heart them. I have 9 weeks left with them and they are already fully formed butterflies waiting to take off. Luckily for me, I get to keep them until the end of June then I set them free.
Today a friend of mine questioned my character. They know me very well and made an assumption about me that I found shocking, hurtful and by the end of the day it manifested into anger and rage. I was sad for a while, now I am just annoyed. Do they know how I feel? You betcha! I am that girl who now will say “I am offended and here is why”. Did I get a reply back? Sort of…I received an email about a different topic. WTF? I didn’t reply back. I said what I had to, and as one of my students always says “Game Over”. Oh wait, I am not playing games. Maybe that is the problem. When they first met me I was not myself. I had not begun the Edmonton Tourist Journey yet. I was still trying to figure myself out. I just knew I was a work in progress and I wasn’t entirely truthful about myself, mostly because I did not really know who I was then. When I look back I wonder how I was able to wake up everyday and go to work. It remains a mystery to me.
2 years later ( 20 months to be exact) I have gain tremendous personal growth. I have worked incredibly hard to be who I am today and if they can’t see it, to bad so sad. Today I am creating a handy pocket guide to The Edmonton Tourist’s Character. You may use this reference if you are needing to predict how I may react to a certain situation, how trust worthy you think I might be, this may be the guide for you. If you don’t give a rats ass, that’s fine too. I know who I am and where I am going and I don’t need anyone’s approval, or permission to write or say what I need to. Being a Tourist in my own life has taught me more about life than you could ever imagine. Compassion, empathy and respect are just a few things I possess. These are Character Traits that I have always had, they were just covered under dust and junk, or you never took the time to get to know me. Please feel free to challenge them or comment on them. I take my strength of character very seriously.
The Edmonton Tourist’s Handy pocket Guide to Her Character Traits
- ALERT – this is the opposite of unaware.Most days I lean closest to Alert. I am aware of tiny details that you may not notice, I see and hear things in the classroom that some people miss. I listen to everything you say and hold onto it. I can put those things together into a completed puzzle to understand you better. I have always had this trait.
- ANALYTICAL – I will ask why and investigate until I understand. If it isn’t logical I cannot wrap my head around it. It may seem that I cannot let things go. I can, but only after I understand the whole store. It may take me months of getting all the information I need, but when I do I have a pretty amazing piece of work. This is why I am an honor student.
- ATTENTIVENESS – What you say is important to me. I will admit to not paying attention when my brain is full or tired. But you will be informed if I am not able to give you my full attention. I am learning to balance this. I use to think I needed to solve everyone’s problems. I learned that lesson the hard way, interfering where I had no business. It’s hard to know what the right thing to do is. I am sure I will mess up again, but know it comes from a place of caring – not vindictive.
- AVAILABILITY – I use to be self-centered. I was a teenager. I think that is normal. I make myself to available to some people and not available enough to others. I have learned to protect myself and put a wall up to shield me from the self-centeredness of others. Every now and then I meet someone who causes me to let my guard down and I make myself available, I don’t say no. I always end up hurting by giving too much. They never seem to feel the same way. It sucks but I’d rather be available then self-centered everyday of the week.
- BOLDNESS – I like to think of it as confident, but who are we kidding…I am bold. Again, I never use to be. It is because I have learned to be my own advocate. If you won’t stand up for yourself and your dear hearts – who will? With my children I become a mother bear, with my family I will fight to the death, with friends who are family, the same applies. I am confident in my abilities because I am no longer afraid to fail. Failing is life’s greatest lesson. I will say something that may make me look like a fool in the end – but I would rather try, than fail by never giving it a shot.
- COMPASSION – I have to work to feed my family. If I have to work anyway, I might as well be doing something that is for the good of society. I will never be rich in wallet, but I fall asleep every night knowing I made a difference to someone that day. It is important to me to heal the hurt of others. This may annoy you, but this is who I am. If you hurt, I want to help.
- COOPERATION – Working together to accomplish that which cannot be done alone. I just learned this. I can’t do it alone, You know something else? Neither can you. If we work together, we can move mountains.
- COURAGE – There is no point in hiding or staying stagnant. Courage will move you to new heights and new places. Fear will only hold you back. If the very worst thing that can happen is someone will say no, what have you got to lose? I also learned that NO can open doors that were better than yes. It’s all good.
- COURTESY – This is very Canadian of me, but kind and polite is so important. A smile and a thank you go a very long way. It never hurts to be polite. I teach my children the same thing my dad taught me,you don’t have to like the person, but you must be polite.
- CREATIVITY – Thinking outside the box opens new doors and expands horizons. Being open to different and looking at things in new ways is a way to a new perspective.
- DEPENDABILITY- if you say you are going to do it, then do it. Be reliable, be faithful, be loyal, be accountable. If you can’t, say so. That is part of being dependable. Dependable doesn’t have to mean yes.
- ENTHUSIASM – Going into a project with this trait makes it easier on yourself and easier on your co-workers. Enthusiasm lifts spirits and brings joy.
- FAITH – I expect the best out of people, yes I get disappointed – like today – without faith no one has anywhere to aspire to. It’s hard to work past judgement and just accept faith. I love to believe in everything wonderful.
- FORGIVENESS – this one is hard. I use to hold a grudge for ever. I learned no one cared or noticed and it just hurt me in the end. My anger didn’t matter to anyone but me. I let it go and now I look, act and feel younger. I have become indifferent to situations that I can’t control. Forgiveness is more important for you than for others. Forgiveness is like Sorry – it doesn’t end pain, but it gives you a place to start from.
- GENEROSITY – I come from a very long line of generous people. If someone needs it more than me, they should have it. I can mostly give of time as I do not have money. I do give things as often as I can
- GRATEFULNESS – to be grateful is life changing. The more grateful you are for something, the more you receive. It doesn’t make sense, it just is – it goes along with faith. I decided to be grateful for the friends in my life, and it came back to me ten-fold.
- RESPECTFULNESS – I respect other’s privacy. I do not need to be told to keep an embarrassing secret. I understand without saying our conversations are private. I ask questions because I care, not to blab to the world. Besides, no one is all that interested unless they care too.
It’s a long list, I stopped at R so you can tell me the Character Traits YOU are most proud of.
- Art On Forgiveness (mayajoyintheworld.wordpress.com)
- Todays Meditation word: Resentment (dailythoughts89.wordpress.com)
- Perfection? (un-scripted.net)