Question: How far is a marathon anyways? Answer: Not 3km

I had one of those moments today when I looked a the person and thought to myself “How come you aren’t dead? Surely your stupid actions and words should have killed you by now.” Then because I wanted to know how he survived so long, I said out loud, “What is your Super Power?”

Apparently dumb luck. Lots of people have this super power.

By now you are thinking – what the hell are you talking about Tourist?

I was standing by the photocopier (a school equivalent to a water cooler) and asked a fellow teacher (male) what his plans were for the weekend. I know it’s only TUESDAY, but seriously people – teachers are BONE TIRED and cannot wait to sleep for a week because YOUR children exhaust me are awesome.

Anyway Teacher Guy began to tell me his plans for the weekend.

TG- I am running a marathon his weekend!

Me- Wow congratulations! Training is brutal and so time consuming, I really admire marathon runners! So tell me, how many miles did you average a week? Where are you running? Did you fund raise?

TG- Naw, it’s not a big deal. I didn’t train. I am just going out there and giving it a shot.

Me- HOLY CRAP MAN, no training? You are a rock star!

TG- Naw…it’s only 3km.

Me- …..Picture a thought bubble (dude you have just insulted an entire culture of people and highlighted your stupidity)

Silence for several minutes while he stood there thinking he was a rock star.

Me – Dude, tell me what you think a marathon is.

TG- a fun run.

Me- It can be, but usually people can barely breathe by the end and their body hurts so much it isn’t very fun after a while.

TG- it’s only 3k!

Me- 3K is a fun run. A Marathon is 42k.

He looked at me like I was kidding him. Then I said,

Me- I am indignant on behalf of every person who has ever run MARATHON – the entire 42KILOMETER race. Those people deserve medals. I can appreciate 3k being a challenge, it is an amazing goal to be a short or long distant runner. But to say a marathon is just a 3k fun run is insulting!

TG- Whatever…. same thing.

Me- Not the same thing. I challenge you to run the ING in August. ALL 42 Freaking Kilometers and then tell me it’s the same.

TG – Not a problem. I’ll do it.

Me- And I will be there with a body bag to collect you.

TG – Challenge accepted.

TG is also a Maple Leaf fan, doesn’t that say it all? WOW! I was reading a blog entry today from my favorite marathoner. The Bronx Turtle had a similar conversation with on a telephone conference today. Read it, it is hilarious. He felt embarrassed that people think he is nuts. Well for starters, The Bronx Turtle is running a marathon a month, A MONTH PEOPLE! that is 12 marathons this year for WDW Radio’s Dream Team Project.Β  He is raising funds for the Make-A-Wish foundation. And he felt embarrassed? WHAT? I think it is amazing what he is doing. Especially the part where there is NO SCHEDULED marathon for June around his home in New York City – let’s all cry him a river. Poor guy lives in Manhattan with Central Park as his back yard….boo hooo… (Jeeze Tourist, jealous much?) So Turtle is going to run around Manhattan, by himself, with no support for water or energy junk, to help himself achieve this amazing feat of a marathon a month, 42 kilometers ON foot with no one cheering him on, handing him water, or placing a medal around his neck. All to benefit the Make-A-Wish foundation. He isn’t the first person I know to do this. Another Goal Setter (that is her name) did this July 5th last year.

I feel sorry for them. Part of the fun of doing these races is bragging rights. Bragging rights need a medal. When you run that far on your own, no one gives you a medal. I have decided to take matters into my own hands. These people deserve to be recognized for there amazing actions and as a preschool teacher, I have the ability to do something about it. What you may ask? I am making them each a Macaroni Necklace Medal. The need to hang something on their wall when THAT GUY comes over and says “so what…no big deal”

The other part of this story that I find so amazing is fundraising for Make-A-Wish Foundation. Without thinking too hard (it is June people and my brain is fried) I can recall 4 children who were recipients of a precious wish.

One little girl I know received a hot tub and gazebo attached to her home. She needed water therapy to keep her limbs active. She is unable to stand on her own, so the water gives her a freedom from her chair.

Another little girl’s wish was to go to Walt Disney World. She needed supports in the form of oxygen and limited time in the parks because it would be so exhausting. But what little kid doesn’t want to be a princess for a day or 3? The Village down there had Oxygen hook ups in her room and Disney sent princess’ and mice over to the village where they wouldn’t have to fight crowds, just to spend time with her. Disney knows how to throw a party and 7 years later, she still lights up when she talks about it.

I had a student in my class one year who had cancer. He wanted to meet his hero Gizmo Williams, a CFL Edmonton Eskimo. Gizmo made it there 4 days before he died. They spent the day together and my little friend wore Gizmo’s jersey everyday. They buried him in it.

I know another little boy who was just granted a wish. He will get to go to Disneyland this summer to have his dream come true.

Make-A-Wish seems frivolous to some people, these people think the money could be better spent finding cures, or research. The bottom line is research wasn’t going to help my little friend who died. He was able to spend his last living days with a hero. His mom was granted happiness to see her little boy happy with stars in his eyes. What parent doesn’t want that for their child? I know I do.

I am heading over to the WDW Radio Dream Team Project and making a donation in support of The Bronx Turtle – his real name for the donation form? Joe Kolinsky – marathon man.

I think you should follow Joe because he is funny, does stupid things, and a great writer. I think you should support his cause and tell him he isn’t running for nothing.

Click here to have more information on the Dream Team Project

Click here to make a donation to Make-A-Wish Foundation to support Joe Kolinsky




13 thoughts on “Question: How far is a marathon anyways? Answer: Not 3km

  1. Some people just need to have their heads twisted off. Or at least another part of the body so they can’t pollute the gene pool.

    This is why I have a general dislike for most teachers. They seem to revel in their stunning ignorance, I wouldn’t let that dude teach my dog.

    1. WOW I cannot believe you wrote that. For the record judge, teachers are the hardest working finest group of selfless humans you will EVER come across. Everything you know today is because a teacher taught you. The fact that you know nothing of value is because you decided that teachers were useless and couldn’t teach you a thing. Where has that left you? Tell me Tony, what is it that you do again?

      1. Thank you for standing up for teachers:) I feel like we expend way too much energy defending ourselves. Energy I should be saving to train for my first marathon this fall. You know, the one that’s more than 3K! πŸ™‚

        1. I agree. There is more to teaching than being good at trivia pursuit – although for the record, I am awesome at that. Hug a teacher today people! It’s June and my brain hurts because of your children!!!

          Good luck on the first marathon! πŸ™‚ I’m sure the cost 3K they just are farther than 3k πŸ™‚

    2. Stunning ignorance?? Ha! Most teachers are very smart and desperately underpaid. They have increasing amounts of admin in our ‘enlightened’ times and still manage to help kids achieve their dreams. Teaching is a vocation not just a job.

      Oh, and by the way numbskull, it’s spelled BLOFELD if you’re referring to the character. Geez… You should have listened to your teachers in English class.

      Note: I am not a teacher.

      1. Blofeld the character was taken. The rest I stand-by.

        Most teachers are not brilliant, of course some are indeed. Most teachers are not dedicated, but of course some are indeed.

        Read up a bit on post-modern education theory and you can then try to put your money where your mouth is.

        Get at ‘er numbnuts.



        1. It’s nice that you accept a misspelling as an acceptable alternative instead of finding some free two-word combination — it’s all very post-modern of you. It’s also nice you think that “stand-by” is the same as “stand by”.

          I think they’re nice because I have found that competing in a global job market against anyone with a big mouth but no serious skills is easier for me. Please continue to revel in your own ignorance and be blissfully unaware of your own limitations; I may want to work in your region some day.

          It’s OK to have an opinion, even a wrong one, but tread carefully before publishing your opinion and making an unfair generalization where it’s patently unwarranted…lest others wield their own opinions against you.

      2. I love people who advocate for Teachers, justice and children. You are a rock star SD! Thanks – I feel vindicated, supported and inspired by the ton of emails and comments I have received!

  2. Great post and awesome medal. I am so glad that I am not the only one whose insides tighten when someone asks, “How long is this marathon?” Most the time I just play along and say, “Well this one is 42.2km or 26.2miles.” Usually their jaws drop too low to continue the conversation and I move on.

    1. Thanks Jeremy, I’m thinking of selling them on Kijiji πŸ˜‰

      It doesn’t bother me that people don’t know how far it is, it bothers me that they are confident in not knowing, you know?

      Lol πŸ™‚

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