Wanted: New Gay Husband

My parents did an excellent job picking out my God Mother. My God Mum is me but older. We both are in university taking and studying leadership, we both have the same taste in shoes, we both shop the same way, we both have passion for the work we do, we both have amazing kids and we think the same way. We understand what it means to slip on a pair of fabulous boots and have the zipper go up the calf. We get the one size does not fit all. Thanks mom and dad, you did good!

My God Mum had a gay best friend who would go shopping with her. The kind that like to look at fabulous shoes and give commentary of purses and men. I also had a gay best friend who would do the same but both of these fabulous men are no longer in our lives.

I do enjoy men but mostly I think they are stupid. Not in a bad way stupid… but in the way that they just don’t get women, or events or things! They don’t see life the way women see life. I have a straight male friend who tells me about how happy he is and I hear about his relationship and life and I just blink. Fantastic that you are happy and fantastic that things are great for you but what you just said makes no sense to me. I need a Gay best friend who can tell me why he is thinking that way. I need a gay man who will blink with me and we would discuss why the straight friend thinks he is happy so I would understand. I need that bridge, the person who gets both sides. I miss my friend. He moved across the country and things have never made sense since.

When I was shopping with my God Mum, I picked up an adorable little black bag the size of my fist. It was  black, beaded and had a metal clasp that held the two sides shut, with a hinge at the bottom. My God Mum said, “my gay husband would call this a condom bag because that is all that fits in it.”

True, it is perfect for that one night stand. Throw in cab fare for the next morning and a lipstick and BAM, you are set for a night on the town.

I miss that. I miss commiserating over men with a man who thinks more like me but understands what make men tic. So I am putting out a wanted ad.

Wanted:

Gay Male, 40ish. Must love shopping, dining, style and laughing. Must be great at gossip but not the mean kind – just the newsy kind. Must have job and could finance own trips to great cities and split costs. Assets include, wicked sense of humor, great Cole Haans and smart. Must love animals and children or say they do but lying is okay. Wine drinker a must!

Competition open until found.

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14 thoughts on “Wanted: New Gay Husband

      1. DAMN if I had known you wanted a gay husband I would have proposed a long time ago…where do I send the ring:)…

        Very seriously though, when I was married more than a few of our friends commented that I was the “perfect husband,” and it was for the reasons you sited. I had no problem helping my former wife cook or clean, I understood her emotional ups and downs, and such. I was of course far from perfect but in many ways I fit the bill. Men are all dogs at times, including gay men, and we tend to spend our time sniffing up the wrong end of those we care about. But the biggest difference is we expect it of one another. HEHE. Oh well…

        I guess we all need each other (both women and men) to keep one another honest! Your posts always are definitely that. Wicked too! Did I mention I liked wicked?

          1. HEHE do they still sell Cracker Jacks?? My money is kind of tight these days…but you would be worth it!!! You are great.

  1. I think all of your guy readers should comment like Brown Road Chronicles to see who ‘wins’ for being the right kind of guy friend. I’m not sure you really need your new friend to be gay, just sufficiently in touch with emotions to read you well, n’est-ce pas?

    1. You raise a valid point. It isn’t about being “In Touch” with your feelings. It is about thinking the same way. Fact:Men think differently then women. This does not say all gay men think like women, but I had a gay friend WHO DID, and I miss that and want another 🙂

  2. I’m with you here, Ed. I miss my gay friends. And, SD, actually, it’s not about really being in touch with your emotions so much as thinking like a female actually does. With my gay friends, when I’d look at them and arch my eyebrows, not only did they understand what I was thinking, they were thinking the EXACT. SAME. THING! 🙂

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