I am meeting with my Neurologist today. This always gives me anxiety. He is a nice man, he is apparently really great at what he does, he could be more on point with respecting his patients time but professional men in my experience, often disregard people’s time because only they are busy. No one could possibly understand the business of their life because we are not them. Fair enough. But I can assure you, everyone is busy and everyone is AS IMPORTANT as any professional.
But I digress…
I spent the last month – closer to six weeks in a fairly intensive work related event. For the most part, I really enjoy what I do. Stress wears me out as it does with everyone else. This past Saturday had me on site from 5:30 AM – Midnight. That was a really long day for everyone. It was an amazing day and we had great success but I was super tired.
There is something that I have a hard time separating. My age + fatigue = slow recovery. This makes sense to me. I am closer to 50 than I like to think. I can hear my grandpa now “Holy S*** you are old.” My reply was always I am not the one with the granddaughter who is 18, 35, 40….50 (insert appropriate age). We laugh but its creeping up on me. I made changes to the way I will handle, plan and execute next years event. I am not the 30 something man who did the event last year so I need to make accommodations. As I told my crew often with cheeky overtones – I am an OLD LADY! So clearly age has something to do with fatigue.
But I have a condition that makes me fatigue easier that what I believe is the norm. I have adjusted my diet to accommodate this – good bye sugar, you were really bringing me down! I feel so much better and sleep better and feel energized. But when everyone on my team – older and younger can bounce back quicker than me from Saturday, that makes me think it isn’t just my age. It could be the level of stress I took on, but honestly? I have always been able to manage large stressful situations.
For the first time in my life, I needed to leave my desk this week and have a nap. I felt drugged. I needed sleep. I could have slept in my chair but I went to my car, pushed my seat back and slept for an hour. I woke up, went back to work and by 8:00 PM I had crawled into my bed and slept another 9 hours after having an hour nap when I got home. This was 2 days ago. I now feel awesome again, like my old self.
This fatigue I speak of reminds me of being pregnant. I would be talking in the car, and the next moment I wake up to my husband taking my pulse because I fell asleep. I am THAT TIRED.
I used to be that girl who stayed up late because I come alive after 10 PM. I am most creative and I feel amazing late at night. I am now that girl who is in bed by 9 and sound asleep by 10. The old lady shuffle at 48. I know this is common – but am I more tired than other women my age? Or is this extreme fatigue a symptom of my neuroma? I know fatigue is listed among other charming side effects. So today, my doctor and I will have a chat. A good long one about managing my fatigue and other issues I am experiencing. I am awake and then I am not. I do get increasingly more tired when my pressure headaches are more intense, that makes sense to me. My body shutting down to heal itself. So I guess I will find out soon.
And I lost my sweater… but memory loss is another topic of another time.