European Deportation was Imminent had Duct Tape not Saved the Day

The Merry Band of Muppets arrived in Germany in one piece, barely. It had nothing to do with the speed traveling down the Autobahn, it had nothing to do with eating Ikea 5 star cuisine, nor did it have anything to do with being kidnapped by my neighbor‘s cousin’s sister.

We almost ran out of duct tape.

My dad is a genius, not the Wiley E. Coyote kind, a real honest to goodness one. Or he is just an experienced traveler. I vote for genius because Christmas is coming and I want to remind him I am his favorite daughter. (thank me later Dad!) Mom and Dad brought Mrs. Statler to Europe 2 months before the rest of the Muppets showed up. My sister arrived to travel around with them a short time later. Then our Muppet Cast showed up. The important thing to remember is, my family is filled with seasoned travelers. We each have a “just in case” case. In Dad’s is a mega roll of Duct Tape.

Duct Tape is not the prettiest form of adhesive in spite of the fashionable colours. Dad likes to think of himself as a well dressed man, just like Johnny Cash, so Black Duct Tape was his colour of choice.

When we arrived in Paris, we were greeted by my mom at the arrivals gate, we were shuffled in to the Caravan as it screeched to a halt. We quickly jumped in and sat at the table beside Mrs. Statler. I looked around the tiny space that was to be our home for the next week and I noticed black squares of duct tape placed in a random patterns all over the inside of the caravan. I didn’t ask. I didn’t need too. I knew I was traveling with the senior section of the Muppet Cast of Characters. For some unknown reason, things always run amuck.  Between you and me, I believe it has everything to do with the caravan being made of cardboard and string, and nothing that has any barring on the Senior Muppets.

By the time we reached Germany, every cupboard and drawer in that place was broken. The cargo net on the upper bunk, broken. The pull-out steps to escape the caravan, broken. The Fridge Door, broken. Dad’s Camera, broken. Main window shade, broken. Duct Tape fixed everything. Including holding the batteries inside Dad’s camera. Even Phoebe needed to be taped to the dashboard. When we arrived at Bacharat in Germany, the roll was nearly empty. We had discussions around the need to secure more, but in the end, we decided to have a little faith.

In the end we did indeed have enough. Dad went home with a very tiny piece of duct tape.

When in Doubt, Hang on Tight!

Have you ever driven you vehicle and came across a sign that made you question why you were there or what the sign meant in the first place? I did, the entire time we were in Germany. I am not talking about the language. For some unknown reason, I can read German and pick out enough words to figure out the meaning. I was either a reader of German Literature in another life, or I am a genius. I am going with genius.

After the Muppets had their fill of meatballs from Ikea, we loaded back into the Caravan and headed for the Rhineland in Germany. My Dad handed Honey the keys and said “you drive for a while”. WOW! This meant I got a break from boomerang fish, singing chickens, and Fozzy’s knock knock jokes because I could Navigate! Remember I had packed my “just in case” case before I left. In it was our trusted GPS Phoebe. We call her Phoebs for short. She isn’t too bright, she likes to think she is in control, she prefers the Autobahn and she talks too much, but mostly I liked her company and was very happy she joined us on the trip.

Let it be known I prefer country roads. It gives me a better sense of the country of origin’s culture. Motorways and Cities seem to be the same all over the world, fast, large and loud. Apparently Phoebe likes fast. She must have been in consultations with my mom earlier in the day. Mom and informed us over breakfast that this was to be a driving day. Great! I couldn’t wait to get to Germany! The route Phoebe took us on was straight and fast. But the signs were puzzling. Dad had given us some advice before his nap, he said “if you see a windsock sign, whatever you do, HANG ON TIGHT!” Sure, sure dad…whatever you say. How bad could it be? We weren’t near the Alps, we weren’t very high up. No problem, right? HA! We came to a bridge on the Autobahn that was so high up, I could not see the ground below. It span was wide and there were windscreens on the bridge itself. Phoebe was having a great time going as fast as possible, while Honey and I said, “Zoinks Scoob!” (not really but this is a family blog). We held on for dear life! Obviously we made it safely to the other side, but it was nerve racking and a very exciting! I am a prairie girl from Canada, this kind of speed and height is just not a common occurrence!

Phoebe brought us straight to Baden-Baden, showing us a few signs that were new to us:

As we were driving lightning fast down the Autobahn, we thought we were travelling in circles because all roads lead to Ausfahrt.

Of course we figured out that meant EXIT! So maybe I wasn’t a genius after all, but now I know more today then I did yesterday!