Don’t Mess with the Temporal Prime Directive!

Shatner as Captain James T. Kirk, in a promoti...
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In my spare time today….What the?!?! I had spare time? I HAD SPARE TIME! WOOP WOOP! I have just spent the last three weeks working 6 weeks ahead in my University studies. I finished yesterday so, indeed, I had SPARE TIME TODAY! You should have seen the Happy Dance! Yes I made a spectacle of myself but I digress…

So in my spare time today I had the luxury of reading other blogs. I have found some really great ones here on WordPress and have listed them in my Blogroll down on the right hand side of this page. Anyways… as I was saying, I was reading other blogs and they transported me to another place. I went for a run today in Central Park with The Bronxturtle and his arch nemesis The Tool, I went knee boarding with Open to Adventure somewhere down under, I went on a first date with Kat in Philadelphia ( she is going on 30 first dates in 3 months!)  and I learned about the first Mosque built on permafrost! It was a delightful afternoon! That is what I love about reading. Suddenly you are transported to another place and time.

I was musing about traveling to another place and time when I brought it up to Genetic Offspring. This is what he said ” if you go back in time and you change something in the past that somehow prevents you from going back in time in the first place, which really means you haven’t really gone back in time but yet you are there and changed something. Thus a paradox is created”

Did your eyes glaze over? I might have missed some of his quote because I may have drifted off for a moment. I try to listen to him, I really do, but sometimes I just don’t understand everything and my mind wanders.

Then it occurred to me. I have family and a few friends who live in the future. And by “future” I don’t mean Crazytown. I mean Australia! They are living in my tomorrow today! So I have a plan.

Australian friends and family, please send me the winning lottery numbers, I will pick those numbers today, then tomorrow it will be me who wins! I of course will split the winnings with you! Is this brilliant or what? Why have I never thought of this before? I am sure Captain Kurt, and by Kurt I mean Chris Pine NOT  William Shatner, would have something to say about the Space/Time Continuum or the Temporal Prime Directive. By the time he starts yapping at me I will be rich and not caring. And I might be drooling a bit, he is very easy on the eyes you know…

So, Who’s in?

While I am waiting for all the winning lottery numbers to start coming in, lets listen to Craig Ferguson tell you tomorrow is your future yesterday 🙂

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Please Don’t Tell Me Anything, My Brain is Already Full.

A chimpanzee brain at the Science Museum London
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Today was one of those “bone weary” days. I know you get them. The kind where your joints and muscles ache, your skin hurts, and your eyes hurt to look at stuff. I brought it all on myself.

I had the intention of going to bed early-ish last night. Early for me is between 10:oo and 11:00 pm. I am a night owl. I feel recharged after dark and do not understand the need for early-risers to be so chipper ( yes honey this means you). Life got in the way last night, between writing letters to political members and watching Craig Ferguson, I procrastinated long enough that I went to bed 15 minutes before the pumpkin hour.

The stress is starting to build in my new Tourist Life. You know how I can tell? I cannot remember a single thing I am supposed to do. My brain fell out. If I didn’t know any better I’d swear I have pregnancy brain. I don’t, there is no way I am pregnant. If I was I would give the baby to my sister for Christmas. No, that is not the problem, but I think I know what is.

My Brain is Full.

Who knew there was a capacity? I thought there was a potential for infinite learning! So the question now is, how do I let go of the stuff I don’t need? My dad calls it a fountain of useless knowledge. I know a lot of crazy and obscure facts. Like…Who holds the record for the longest Goal Scoring streak on the Edmonton Oilers?

A> Wayne Gretzky?

B> Dave Lumely?

C>Ryan Smythe?

D> Paul Coffee?

Nope you are wrong – except my friend from Jr. High who knows this stuff too. B> Dave Lumely. Or this one, It is impossible to sneeze with your eyes open. Or did you know that Leonardo Da Vinci invented scissors. If you are playing trivial pursuit, you want me on your team. I caution you, I am very competitive and wont let you answer a thing, but we will win.

I use to remember everything from all the data reports I needed for team meetings, my kids schedules, my husbands schedule, school volunteer events and dates, every birthday of every person I know, my telephone number and bank money transactions. Now I can’t even tell you what my favorite colour is! I thank Steve Jobs everyday that I have an iPhone and I know how to use it! It is so simple to use, I don’t need to remember how, it just happens. PHEW! Because without the calendar,  notes, email and contact list I would be curled up in the corner weeping uncontrollably. A friend and colleague at work today said the brain works differently with a hormone fluctuation. Well, I AM getting old, and hormones work differently, but I don’t think that is it. My Brain is full and I need to do something about it because school work and day work needs to fit in there. Hopefully one day my brain will be back in top-notch shape

So here is the plan, I am not going to take responsibility for non-essentials anymore. If you need to get to volleyball practice, set your alarm or tell your dad. If you need to plan a baby shower for a friend, email me what I need to bring. If you don’t, I won’t remember and you will be disappointed. If you are unsure how to operate the data bases at work , look it up in the manual on the black shelf, everything you need to know is in that book , no in the white one. If you need me to buy groceries, sorry I can’t. I walk in and just stand there looking at the pretty colours and forget why I am there. Email me if you need something. edmtourist@gmail.com If I have it in my phone, I can do it.

Other wise, forget it, my brain is full.