I am a WARRIOR, so pass the band-aid please

Apparently I am a WARRIOR! How do I know? Other than being called one on my facebook status, I had already figured it out after sporting the Ninja injuries from this summer. I this about my run today:

There is something very empowering about blood running into your shoe and powering through it to finish – even tho it made me slower, days like this it’s about the finish.

It’s true. I felt like a hockey player during playoffs. Blood filling my shoe and me powering through it to finish. I AM A WARRIOR! Except I needed to get to work so I either needed stitches or a couple of band-aids. I typically make my own butterfly tape so I can for-go the stitches, because as strong and warrior-like I am, I am also a big baby when it comes to someone sewing my skin up. I’d rather have a hideous scar that you can talk about at cocktail parties. There is nothing cooler than someone asking you how you got that scar when you have a great story to back it up. Like the scar on my leg – Shark Attack. Or the Scar on my forearm – Sword Fight. Then there is the gash across my eyebrow – Gordie Howe Hat Trick. That is the coolest scar and the one I am most proud of.

Today’s war wound soaked my sock with my OWN blood and I needed a quick fix. Giant band-aids worked in a pinch but they were the plain and functional kind. I AM A WARRIOR so I wanted band-aids with a bit of flash. I needed some for my classroom too, so off i went in search of the coolest band-aids EVER.

My kiddos at school are very predictable, give them princess and super hero or Pixar Cars and they are happy campers. I wanted George Clooney Band-aids. Did you know Wal-Mart does not carry George Clooney Band-aids? I KNOW! I AM SHOCKED TOO! I couldn’t even get Batman in the nipple suit band-aids that remind me of George as Batman |(for the record Joel Schumacher WORST BATMAN EVER! The only thing that saved it was George in a nipple suit).

I spent the rest of the day depressed because I wanted a George Clooney Band-Aid. i googled George Clooney Band-aids and I got a list of the kinds they DO carry. I could get Bling Band-aids all covered in fake diamonds. I could get Napoleon Dynamite band-aids, wtf? but not Clooney or Doug Ross ones? Planets and stars, stupid blue batman or ouchies for girls – who wants unicorns and crowns? I’ll pass thanks, I want what I want and none are available so I will make them.

Here is my prototype:

Obviously I used his Dr. Ross persona, that will speed healing!

Of course they will be for sale, this may be the product I was looking for to start my own business. Now all I need is a financial backer, anyone? oh, and a wheelbarrow to bring my money home in.


Sto imparando l’italiano! and other things I can’t spell

Sto imparando l’italiano! True story…

Rosetta Stone and I hooked up and she is teaching me how to understand Italian…I am nosogoodatspeakingityet. I’ll get there. My son asked me “Why learn a useless language like Italian, when you can learn something useful like French?” (apparently other Canadian’s speak French).

Because that is the way I roll! I tend not to be bound by conformity. I am learning Italian for practical reasons. No, I do not have Italian neighbors I need to communicate with, nor do I have Italian students. I have no plans to visit Italy this year…but I learned Never to say Never. 2010 I didn’t have plans to go to France…and there I was in October 2010. 2011 I didn’t have plans to go to Disneyland…and there I was in August 2011. I officially am saying I have no plans to go to Italy in 2012… I feel like I need to be prepared.

My future ex-husband George Clooney lives in Lake Como (lago di como) and I am a little disappointed in his need to date a wrestler. I can wrestle – not professionally but I could hold a burglar at bay or bring a cute guy down. I am a brunette – or rather use to be a brunette and can be once again if necessary. I have short hair but am will to get extensions! All I am saying is George, Stop looking…I am here for you. I am even learning Italian so I can wander the markets, shop in Rome and Per delizioso vino!  See how fancy and international I am getting? I understand it won’t be forever because that is the way you roll. I am TOTALLY cool with that. Let’s just call it a “summer fling” I could fly to Italy on the pretense of language exchange. What did that gal in Eat Love Pray call it? Running away? I could run away to Italy for the summer. I am taking the summer off anyways, So I am free! All of you blog readers could come for a visit, la nostra casa è grande sul Lago di Como. I am sure it is big enough to accommodate you. A few at a time at least. We will work it out so someone who can cook will always be there. Once I am with the future ex – I will NOT be cooking any more….just saying.

Aerial view of Lake Como and arm of the lecco ...
Lake Como, my pool for the summer - maybe

Ahhhh Italy…. I can’t wait to visit…. not that I am planning on going… just trying to make that clear.

fino alla prossima volta i miei amici

Diamonds are My Best Friend

I have a mental blockage. I have one last assignment to complete, one last paper to write before Christmas Break. I have done the research, I have notes, but why can’t I do it? WHY WHY WHY? I think I need to release the mumbo jumbo in my head so I can focus on the task at hand. My way of doing that is to blog.

As the daily list of “to do’s” increases as the Holidays approach, I find myself with less and less time and cash. Every time I turn around there is another school form asking for another $125 or $6. There are meetings to attend, family obligations, work commitments, and school work to do. I realized I have 3 weeks to go before winter break. I am usually done Christmas Shopping by now. I did get started on the Christmas Baking but Evil Genius and Genetic Offspring took care of that. So now I need to make MORE. This time I shall keep it in my secret lair.

I need a diversion. I need an escape. I am going to imagine for the next 15 minutes that I am well to do and money is no object. I am going to write my Christmas List and give it to my future ex husband, George. He has the cash and the connections to provide me with these delights I want for my fantasy Christmas. Ready? Imagine,if you will, that we are in New York.  Slap on that Brioni dress, slide on those gorgeous Prada boots and walk with me through my favorite store on 5th Avenue. That’s right, we are heading to Tiffany & Co. Come indulge with me.

The Edmonton Tourist’s Fantasy Christmas List!

Dear George, I have been exceptionally good this year. I have made a little of list of special items that I know you will want to shower me with. I will provide pictures so we are VERY clear of my expectations. Thank you Santa Baby George dear.

1. The Ornate Key Pendant

Just the key, not the chain is about $8000.00 I love the Platinum ones

2. Tiffany & Co. Cuff Notes

Again, loving the Platinum $7850.00

3. The Tiffany Embrace

I like the various choices of carat weight, that is so thoughtful Tiffany! Thank you!  This one is only $12000.00 – I don’t want to seem greedy.

4.The Atlas Ring

The White Gold is my ring of choice! This is only a stocking stuffer at $1600.00

5. The Tesoro Watch

I love an every day watch and think this will do nicely! $15000.00

6. The Knots Ring

For those days when I feel like slumming it. $350.00

7. Celebration Rings

I think all of them at once. I like the eclectic look. They start at $11000.00 each. We will have plenty to celebrate. Trust me.

8. Diamonds by the Yard ( best value, buying diamonds in bulk!)

Starting at $5800.00 but such good value! You only buy what you need.

9. Marquise Ring for those quiet nights at home

A BARGAIN starting at $20000.00

10. Circlet Bracelt

$15600.00, see I am not greedy

11. Tiffany Jazz Necklace, coordinates nicely with the Circlet Braclet


Santa Baby George,the total comes to $78850.00 Canadian dollars.

I’m worth it, I promise.

Love, ET


Hola! And other words I don’t really know

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to live in  another city or country? I do, all the time. Of course none of my fantasies include practical things, like work, or finances or cultural difference. No, why worry about that stuff in a fantasy? No, I dream about the fabulous home, overlooking Central Park, or the country side estate in Kent, or the glass fronted home in Malibu or the south of France. In every fantasy I am thin, have gorgeous hair and a fantastic wardrobe. I pop out and meet friends for lunch and have my nails done. Take long walks and visit local site-seeing spots and speak several languages. It sounds so fantastic! Meet new people who would embrace me and find me interesting and of course we would become life long friends. Sounds just like a Maeve Binchy novel.

My parents always wanted to do an exchange with another family in some other country. I remember them talking about it when I was younger. All I could think was HOW COULD THEY DO THAT TO ME?! Of course it was always about ME and how it would affect ME! Looking back now, it is a shame we never got a chance to do that. Yet, it is within my power to do it now. But could I? Even if it was for a year, could I let someone else live in my home? Could I live in theirs? I don’t even like to stay with relatives on vacation. I like my own space. I suppose I wouldn’t be living with them, but still, their bed, their taste in wall colour, and me powerless to change it.The flip side would be immigration.I live in Canada where people immigrate to everyday. That I understand. That makes sense! Of course people want to live here. It is an amazing country with breathtaking beauty and very polite inhabitants. But why would I move to another country ?

I met a lady the other day, she immigrated from Eritrea, Africa to London, England. She was visiting her brother and his family here in Canada. Understanding the political and religious oppressions that occur in Africa, it is easy to understand why they wish to leave. Their dream is to have a better life for their children. To give them the freedoms that one could only dream about in Africa. So to me, that makes perfect sense.

I love listening to people’s stories about why they chose Canada over another Western Country. Or what made them leave their family and communities to start over. I even understand the need to live in communities where people from the “home country” are currently residing. There is something so comforting in SAME. At the same time, I love that my city is so diverse! I know an Italian bus driver who has lived in Edmonton for 30 years. He has a thick Italian accent and speaks with his hands they way you see in movies. When I talk to him, I get the whole Italian infatuation thing. He is colourful and interesting, speaking to him makes me feel like I am sitting in a piazza in Florence. Or listening to a co-worker from Argentina. She has stories that would curl your hair! Between her and my Cuban friend, I am slowly some Spanish words. I understand way more than I thought I could and that surprises me. My best friends are from Scotland. We share the same dark and twisted humor. When speaking to them, lots of people haven’t a clue what they are saying because even though they speak English, their slang and vocabulary is quite different from the local vernacular. I find myself “translating” every now and then. Although I am not multilingual, I guess in a sense I am.

The thought of having to leave Edmonton to live a new life is daunting. I couldn’t leave my mom & dad or sister or even my brother. I would miss my aunt and my gran too much. We share a closeness that I would miss like I would miss my left leg if it was taken from me. I watched Up in the Air last night and was fascinated by George Clooney’s character ( I know! I was watching the movie and not just him!) He had no ties, claimed he didn’t want them – yet he really did. I know people like that. I have family like that. They have their own life separate from their family. I some ways I am envious, maybe jealous even. But when it comes down to it, family is just to important to me. They would have to come with me. If I moved to a new country or even just a new city, I would have to fulfill my grandpa’s dream to have a home with several wings to house the different families so we could all live together. Just like on Dynasty or Dallas! Complete with the wardrobe and lifestyle! HA! Now that is starting to sound creepy even to me.

Maybe I need to pursue the learning of language. Visiting other countries would be easier. Touring other countries is something that I am not going to give up. So maybe that can be my own way of experiencing new cultures. Living in a country for a month or so and submerging myself into the culture. Italian appeals to me because of my Italian friend and because of Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, come on, after reading the food part how could you NOT want to speak Italian and live there for a while? Spanish makes more sense to me as a language to learn. I have several Spanish-speaking friends, and lots of different countries speak the language.

So maybe that is my next challenge on the Edmonton Tourist Express. I’ll take one order of Spanish with a side of Spain for a month thanks. Now… the question is when?