Hey! This past year my 11th blogiversary came and went and 221,407 people stopped by to read over the past 11 years. For those not in the know, eleven is a magic number for me. I use it as a sign that things are where they should be and I am on the right track. When I began blogging in 2010, I used it as a therapy of sorts fully knowing I am not a therapist therefore I would not necessarily be the right choice for actual therapy. What did happen was amazing. The more I wrote, the more I realized I didn’t know what I was thinking until I wrote it down.
This was a revelation for me. Some blogs were very private and some I released into the unknown. Becoming vulnerable had a strange effect. It connected me to other people who were also vulnerable and demonstrated to me that I was not alone in my depression. I learned a lot from you and I think you learned a lot from me. We were good for each other.
As I began to heal I started exploring both inner me and outer me. Outer me LOVE adventure and trying new things. I felt I had a purpose. I fell in love with my city, my province and my country. Then I had the courage to learn new skills. I learned to run and ran a lot. But I never did that for me. I ran to fit in with a group of people. When I stopped, I learned they weren’t the right people for me.
I then learned that looking inward is where I could find peace and self-love. It taught me boundaries are the best love letter I could ever give myself. I said goodbye to people who treated me like hot garbage – who needs that in your life? Sometimes it meant not being around ‘family’ because they are mean and were the reason I needed this blog in the first place. They didn’t have my best interests at heart – only theirs. Once I learned that lesson, the freedom and peace I felt was a gift to me that I was not returning.
Moving past that, I tried to improve the skills that I already had. Deepen my meditation practice, sharpen my baking skills, and hell, I even went back to university to learn new skills that changed my career trajectory. People started popping up in my life that felt like coincidence but in truth, I honestly believe a higher power put them in my path. I learned about Reiki and crystals, I deepened my meditation practise further, I learned to laugh again – and laugh hard. I found joy in small things like walks, painting, crystal grids, music and reading. Stress only happens at work now and that is the next step for me to change.
I guess what I want to say is this blog was life-changing. I write as a creative outlet. there are four novels I might do something with. I had conversations (not in my head – but it was over social media) with Judy Blume, Cheryl Strayed and Glennon Doyle. All of whom are writers and self-healers who also shared their vulnerability to heal and change their lives. I let go of things that didn’t bring me joy anymore – hockey, Disneyland and commercialism. I began to wonder if they ever really did bring me joy or were they distractions that I used to feel included and part of a group?
I stopped paying for this blog. meaning, you will begin to see ads and intrusive things WordPress needs to do to make money. I will leave this blog here because I will likely come back from time to time, but I have travelled and done some amazing this year and felt a strong pull not to share. I am feeling that more and more like I don’t need to share anymore. I think that means I am healed and now privacy is the thing that makes my heart sing. I do think about a travel blog or vlog for the day I realize my dream of exploring the rest of Canada and making my way to the Maritimes. So maybe that will happen, if it does, I will post here to let you know about it and where you can find it.
For now, I am in another challenge. Something that I do every year, I set a reading goal and try to meet it. This year my goal was read 52 books. As of today, I have read 48 with 49 needing another two hours to complete. My daughter wrote a blog for her university project. It was about every book she needed to read for her English/drama major and creative writing minor. I loved reading why she like or didn’t like the books and what memories came out of them. She inspired me to do the same. So I started a new blog called The Library. It is crude and rudimentary. I spend no time with it, other than writing about the fiction I have read this year. If this might interest you, you can read the book stacks here. It is JUST the fiction, not the memories, non-fiction or spiritual exploration books that have caught my eye. Those you can see those on my Goodreads page. Friend me there so I can see what you are reading too. I have also started a new Instagram profile that focuses mostly on books I have read. I have joined the bookstagram community and love them. Readers have a special place in my life.
That’s my update in a nutshell. Thank you for being loyal and kind, and if you weren’t, thanks for that too because you were part of my learning process.
Stay healthy friends!