I think this is the end, but I might be wrong

Hey! This past year my 11th blogiversary came and went and 221,407 people stopped by to read over the past 11 years. For those not in the know, eleven is a magic number for me. I use it as a sign that things are where they should be and I am on the right track. When I began blogging in 2010, I used it as a therapy of sorts fully knowing I am not a therapist therefore I would not necessarily be the right choice for actual therapy. What did happen was amazing. The more I wrote, the more I realized I didn’t know what I was thinking until I wrote it down.

This was a revelation for me. Some blogs were very private and some I released into the unknown. Becoming vulnerable had a strange effect. It connected me to other people who were also vulnerable and demonstrated to me that I was not alone in my depression. I learned a lot from you and I think you learned a lot from me. We were good for each other.

As I began to heal I started exploring both inner me and outer me. Outer me LOVE adventure and trying new things. I felt I had a purpose. I fell in love with my city, my province and my country. Then I had the courage to learn new skills. I learned to run and ran a lot. But I never did that for me. I ran to fit in with a group of people. When I stopped, I learned they weren’t the right people for me.

I then learned that looking inward is where I could find peace and self-love. It taught me boundaries are the best love letter I could ever give myself. I said goodbye to people who treated me like hot garbage – who needs that in your life? Sometimes it meant not being around ‘family’ because they are mean and were the reason I needed this blog in the first place. They didn’t have my best interests at heart – only theirs. Once I learned that lesson, the freedom and peace I felt was a gift to me that I was not returning.

Moving past that, I tried to improve the skills that I already had. Deepen my meditation practice, sharpen my baking skills, and hell, I even went back to university to learn new skills that changed my career trajectory. People started popping up in my life that felt like coincidence but in truth, I honestly believe a higher power put them in my path. I learned about Reiki and crystals, I deepened my meditation practise further, I learned to laugh again – and laugh hard. I found joy in small things like walks, painting, crystal grids, music and reading. Stress only happens at work now and that is the next step for me to change.

I guess what I want to say is this blog was life-changing. I write as a creative outlet. there are four novels I might do something with. I had conversations (not in my head – but it was over social media) with Judy Blume, Cheryl Strayed and Glennon Doyle. All of whom are writers and self-healers who also shared their vulnerability to heal and change their lives. I let go of things that didn’t bring me joy anymore – hockey, Disneyland and commercialism. I began to wonder if they ever really did bring me joy or were they distractions that I used to feel included and part of a group?

I stopped paying for this blog. meaning, you will begin to see ads and intrusive things WordPress needs to do to make money. I will leave this blog here because I will likely come back from time to time, but I have travelled and done some amazing this year and felt a strong pull not to share. I am feeling that more and more like I don’t need to share anymore. I think that means I am healed and now privacy is the thing that makes my heart sing. I do think about a travel blog or vlog for the day I realize my dream of exploring the rest of Canada and making my way to the Maritimes. So maybe that will happen, if it does, I will post here to let you know about it and where you can find it.

For now, I am in another challenge. Something that I do every year, I set a reading goal and try to meet it. This year my goal was read 52 books. As of today, I have read 48 with 49 needing another two hours to complete. My daughter wrote a blog for her university project. It was about every book she needed to read for her English/drama major and creative writing minor. I loved reading why she like or didn’t like the books and what memories came out of them. She inspired me to do the same. So I started a new blog called The Library. It is crude and rudimentary. I spend no time with it, other than writing about the fiction I have read this year. If this might interest you, you can read the book stacks here. It is JUST the fiction, not the memories, non-fiction or spiritual exploration books that have caught my eye. Those you can see those on my Goodreads page. Friend me there so I can see what you are reading too. I have also started a new Instagram profile that focuses mostly on books I have read. I have joined the bookstagram community and love them. Readers have a special place in my life.

That’s my update in a nutshell. Thank you for being loyal and kind, and if you weren’t, thanks for that too because you were part of my learning process.

Stay healthy friends!

What's the difference between 'fin' and 'final'? - Tell Me In Spanish

One thought on “I think this is the end, but I might be wrong

  1. I’ve enjoyed following you over the years and do hope you come back at least occasionally to update, but I understand if you have found peace not blogging.

    I set a modest reading goal every year but always seem to fall short. I’ll probably only hit 15 out of 18 this year, which would be the same as last. Probably because I’m blogging too damn much, lol.

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